we realize. When I was a kid 50+ years ago there was no knowledge of this disorder, and when it was
finally identified, it was also described as a problem with boys. If girls behaved the same way they were
considered poorly behaved, parents didn't discipline them enough etc. anything but ADHD. Remember
the H referring to hyperactivity can also refer to hyperactivity of the mind IE flitting from one thought to another, and daydreaming too. For me daydreaming was an escape from an unhappy existence. My
parents were OK, but my teachers were nuns and they were rigid, controlling, stern and sometimes
down right mean. But in fairness to them, they didn't know that these problems could be physiological
rather than just behavioral. They also had performance expectations for behavior and academics. They
were right to demand some order, but they were unfair in the distribution of penalties. For some reason
unknown to me boys were allowed a lot of leeway when it came to behavior. Much more was expected
of girls and punishments were harsher and readily handed out to girls who dared to be restless, inattentive
or any number of behaviors found to be unacceptable (such as asking questions, or daydreaming). Physical
punishment such as hitting were not common, but did happen and most often to girls though they were
usually better behaved than the boys. I think the problem was rooted in expectations. Girls were simply
expected to behave better and boys, well "boys will be boys" was the thinking of that period.
were right to demand some order, but they were unfair in the distribution of penalties. For some reason
unknown to me boys were allowed a lot of leeway when it came to behavior. Much more was expected
of girls and punishments were harsher and readily handed out to girls who dared to be restless, inattentive
or any number of behaviors found to be unacceptable (such as asking questions, or daydreaming). Physical
punishment such as hitting were not common, but did happen and most often to girls though they were
usually better behaved than the boys. I think the problem was rooted in expectations. Girls were simply
expected to behave better and boys, well "boys will be boys" was the thinking of that period.
In any case I exhibited all the usual behaviors usually associated with ADD: not paying attention, interrupting, talking when I shouldn't and always in the dark about assignments, test instructions etc. I did better with written or printed instructions so I could recheck etc. To my mother's credit she wasn't a harsh disciplinarian and believed me if I told her I tried. There were times, though when I gave up in despair, crying and insisting I just couldn't do it. I didn't know what the teacher wanted or how to do it. It was frightening at times.
Today I see teachers like the ones who were interviewed after the tornadoes in the Midwest and the
teachers from the Sandy Hook shootings and I think they are so special. I wonder why I didn't have
nice teachers, ones that cared. In high school I did have at least one teacher in each of my 4 years of high school that I was able to connect with and some that seemed to understand me. I found some of the male teachers more tolerant and accepting of me.
Many years later I went to nursing school as a young, newly divorced mother with a small daughter. I
somehow managed to graduate with honors, but it took all my energy, and I think my daughter missed so much of my time. Her father pretty much ignored her, but my mother adored her and made up for some
of the sadness she incurred from her divorced parents, her busy mom and her uninvolved father. My father
was also very fond of her and to some extent she could do no wrong, but he was also quick to anger given
even small provacations. But she learned how to manage him early on.
Recently I've been reading a magazine about ADD//ADHD. My therapist lent it to me, and it is anamazing
magazine. It's articles have hit a sensitive part of my brain. It has made me wonder how I ever managed
to get through school, and 34 years of hospital work (as an RN). From mixing up appointment dates, to
hiding things on myself it seems that I'm always stressed out whenever I'm doing something important. It is
sad because no one knew about learning disabilities and ADD when I was a little girl. The nuns dealt with
my indiosyncracies rather harshly. I have no good memories of elementary school. By high school I had
managed to work out some strategies to help myself. I was not a happy kid most of the time. During the
summer when I could get lost in reading library books I was happier.
was also very fond of her and to some extent she could do no wrong, but he was also quick to anger given
even small provacations. But she learned how to manage him early on.
Recently I've been reading a magazine about ADD//ADHD. My therapist lent it to me, and it is anamazing
magazine. It's articles have hit a sensitive part of my brain. It has made me wonder how I ever managed
to get through school, and 34 years of hospital work (as an RN). From mixing up appointment dates, to
hiding things on myself it seems that I'm always stressed out whenever I'm doing something important. It is
sad because no one knew about learning disabilities and ADD when I was a little girl. The nuns dealt with
my indiosyncracies rather harshly. I have no good memories of elementary school. By high school I had
managed to work out some strategies to help myself. I was not a happy kid most of the time. During the
summer when I could get lost in reading library books I was happier.
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