They didn't ask me!!!

Today I made a salad for dinner and poured my favorite salad dressing on it.  but there was something different, something that I didn't like. It was spicey hot and burned my mouth and tongue. I took out the bottle and looked for a number to call them and complain to them. I couldn't find one on the bottle, but I'll keep looking online.  I don't care if they want to make that type of dressing, but at least warn the shoppers who might buy the products.  I'm going to either throw the whole thing out or give it to someone who might like hot sauce.  The label does say spicy, but I didn't see that until after I tasted it. Other than that word the label is exactly like the regular one that I usually buy. I think the label should be different, a different color and the words spicy hot might help weed out the ones who don't  appreciate painful food.  Not everyone likes the burn, and Ifall in that category.  Now I have to figure out what to do with a bottle of salad dressing that I hate.  I guess throw it out or ask my friends if they are interested in some spicey sauce  the most likely alternatives. Next time I'll read the label more carefully I guess. A few years ago they changed the formula and there was an organized protest from fans of the regular type.  Now here they go again without warning or clear info on the label. They will be sorry!!!  I hope.  Now I have to figure out what to do with a nearly full bottle of something I don't like at all.  How does one take the burn out of a sauce?  I'm sure I don't know.

Coping with the Aging Process

I am enjoying my weight loss, but I was up about 2lb on today's

weigh-in so I did my run, then went to Mystic and shopped (spent 

too much money on odds and ends that I needed.  I'll have to be a 

bit more careful next time.  I did go for a long walk, bought coffee

(iced and still sipping it), sat by the river and did some reading. It

is such a pleasure to read by the river on a mild day.  It was a little

hot, sun shining, light breeze, and just a few people on the other 

benches.  I would have liked a little shade, but there was none.

Still it was nice and restorative  then I headed to the grocery store

before heading home.  I've been cooking squash, cleaning, putting 

groceries away, reading and watching some TV news and other stuff.

I've also been feeding my squirrels, chipmunks, gopher, and of 

course the birds.  My cats do love watching the critters, but one cat,

Chloe, hogs the window with the best view.  She's my only female 

and a bit anxious so they (the other cats) tread carefully where she 

is concerned. They let her have her favorite place - no questions asked.

My friend is here, sleeping as usual.  He claims he sleeps fine at night,

but every time he is here he falls asleep in the chair and snores

loudly. I don't mind really, but sometimes I need to do some things

such as vacuuming and I don't want to wake him.  He'll soon be

working again so I try to ignore it for now.

It will soon be July and we will be half way through the year.  It does

seem that time passes more quickly as one ages.  I'm now 68 and 

thinking about what will change as I continue this process of aging.
 Maybe I don't want to know, or maybe I'd like just the good news
(but is there any).  I know that I still care about what people think of me,
 but not as much as I once did.  I don't want to be a weird old lady, or
a mean one, but this is unchartered territory for me as it is for everyone. I

did watch my parents and some friends and neighbors age. It's not
encouraging, but there are no alternatives.  I think the only

steps one can take are keeping physically active (forcing oneself

if necessary), challenging oneself intellectually IE reading, 

studying, trying new things (sewing, volunteering etc)  As yet I

have not volunteered, but I enjoy reading and writing as this

blog illustrates, and I belong to a writing group that meets once

a week on Fridays.  Some times we have lunch together afterward

at a local restaurant.  The writing group is a good exercise for my
writing interests because I don't get to choose the topic only the way I
want to address the topic that is  presented by the moderator.
I also have an online journal which I highly recommend.  It's easy,
has unlimited space,  has a free  version and an unlimited version
for a small annual fee.  If you are reading this and would like to try  an
online journal do a search there are so many to choose from you may find
it difficult to decide. The one I use is called  "Penzu".  You can have several
different journals if you choose and leave your journal to read after you
are gone from the earth which I think takes a lot of thought about who
will have the password for it.  But I can say that I wish I had something
from my mother - a letter or even a paragraph -- anything her own words
would mean so much to me.

Life in FL

Well I'm in FL, living about a half mile from my daughter.  I use that distance as a running route when I go  to visit or check on the kids or the dog needs a walk.  With the return trip it makes a mile.  Not too bad, and I think the exercise is good for me.   I still have sleep problems, but I've lost weight and actually fit  in my daughter's clothes.  I went down 4 sizes, but recently gained back 2 pounds.  I'm working on losing them.  I have to stop nibbling and eating junk food (working on that too).

I have my kitties with me - all 4 - and that helps with the homesickness.  I miss my home in New
England (though not the snow or the freezing weather). In this area of FL the roads are 6 lanes wide
and the traffic is fast and I get lost easy so I'm having some difficulty getting out shopping or going
to the library etc.  In New England one can stop on the side of the road for a few minutes to check
a map or recheck the directions or signs, but that 's almost impossible here. The drivers are not
courteous; they are out to get you and use the horns liberally.

Recently I went to a movie with my daughter and grandchildren.  We saw the latest "Annie" and
it was great.  The music is wonderful and the story though sad at times was mostly upbeat.  I found
it especially interesting because I remember reading the funnies or comic strips when I was a kid
and "Annie" called "Little Orphan Annie" at that time was one that I read everyday, especially
the Sunday issue which was in color.  I remember finding it sad at times and scary, but certainly
OK for kids to read.  Then came the movies,a broadway play and now a new Annie.  It was
great and good for the kids to see as well.  I seldom get to a movie so it was a real treat for me.

I like being near my daughter, but I don't really like life in FL.  In April I will return to New England to become officially a "snow bird" who summers in the north and then heads back to FL for the winter. There is no argument about the milder winters.  They are certainly better here than in NE.
But there are other factors to consider when making life altering changes after retirement. Finding suitable housing, new doctors, transporting pets and new veterinarians, dentists, finding a bank that works in both areas (currently I use 2 banks to avoid ATM charges etc.).

My kitties are OK now, but I don't think they enjoyed the trip that brought them here;  nor will they enjoy the  return trip when I head home in April.

My daughter doesn't understand why I miss my home in New England. Because she is here and
my grandchildren are here I should be happy, but they have their own lives and don't replace
the friends and my sister who I miss so much every day.  This is her life now and she has made friends and has new relatives (in-laws who are good to her) and her children are here, but maybe someday if her daughter moves away from her and she has to make a choice to either stay or
move, to be near her daughter or not she will might understand the choices I have been forced
to make ie here or there, with her or without her, give up my friends to move here or stay in New England.  It is a hard choice and I am not happy here and don't think I will ever be happy here.
But I'm tolerating it, and adjusting - maybe "happy" is over-rated.  As I look forward toward
the problems of aging: hearing and vision loss, forgetfulness, aches and pains and possibly
some serious disease ie cancers, autoimmune diseases etc.  I know only one thing.  I don't want
a long life.  I'll be happy to die at 85 (for example) before I lose too much of what makes me
who I am.  My mom died at 91 and her last 3 years were horrible, but even before that she had
many difficulties that required me to be pretty much a full time caregiver, chauffeur work full
time at my job, and sometimes work in a visit to my daughter at that time.  Life was very difficult
for me and stressful as well. I had frequent headaches, insomnia, a bout of cancer and treatment,
a few surgeries as well.  And of course money was always an issue - never enough as I tried to
save for retirement and cope with inflation, continuing education for my job, balancing my work
my checkbook, my life.  I don't think I did such  a good job.  Depression was the result of the
life stresses I faced.