Losing Things

I keep misplacing things.  I can remember having something in my hand (recently it's my pocket calendar) using it and then I can't find it.  It happened again this evening.  I don't understand why
or how this happens.  I'm alone in my house except for my cats, but they only lose things that roll such as toys, balls etc.  Tonight I lost my pocket calendar.  I had just updated it with recent and pending appointments then  I got up to do something and when I got back it was gone.  I have
looked everywhere even in the trash, but couldn't find it.  I finally used another one that had hanging
around.  But I don't know what happened to the other one and it drives me crazy.  Larry will say
"What did you do with it?"  To which I always reply "if I knew that I would not be looking for it).
Sometimes men just aren't tuned in - most of the time.  I have also bee very forgetful lately.  One
more reason that I need a calendar for reminders. I missed an appointment for my cat last week.
I just forgot and didn't check my calendar (got busy cleaning and tossing then they called). As
usual I haven't been sleeping well and having a good deal of pain in my left arm and nothing
helps.

Life in FL

Well I'm in FL, living about a half mile from my daughter.  I use that distance as a running route when I go  to visit or check on the kids or the dog needs a walk.  With the return trip it makes a mile.  Not too bad, and I think the exercise is good for me.   I still have sleep problems, but I've lost weight and actually fit  in my daughter's clothes.  I went down 4 sizes, but recently gained back 2 pounds.  I'm working on losing them.  I have to stop nibbling and eating junk food (working on that too).

I have my kitties with me - all 4 - and that helps with the homesickness.  I miss my home in New
England (though not the snow or the freezing weather). In this area of FL the roads are 6 lanes wide
and the traffic is fast and I get lost easy so I'm having some difficulty getting out shopping or going
to the library etc.  In New England one can stop on the side of the road for a few minutes to check
a map or recheck the directions or signs, but that 's almost impossible here. The drivers are not
courteous; they are out to get you and use the horns liberally.

Recently I went to a movie with my daughter and grandchildren.  We saw the latest "Annie" and
it was great.  The music is wonderful and the story though sad at times was mostly upbeat.  I found
it especially interesting because I remember reading the funnies or comic strips when I was a kid
and "Annie" called "Little Orphan Annie" at that time was one that I read everyday, especially
the Sunday issue which was in color.  I remember finding it sad at times and scary, but certainly
OK for kids to read.  Then came the movies,a broadway play and now a new Annie.  It was
great and good for the kids to see as well.  I seldom get to a movie so it was a real treat for me.

I like being near my daughter, but I don't really like life in FL.  In April I will return to New England to become officially a "snow bird" who summers in the north and then heads back to FL for the winter. There is no argument about the milder winters.  They are certainly better here than in NE.
But there are other factors to consider when making life altering changes after retirement. Finding suitable housing, new doctors, transporting pets and new veterinarians, dentists, finding a bank that works in both areas (currently I use 2 banks to avoid ATM charges etc.).

My kitties are OK now, but I don't think they enjoyed the trip that brought them here;  nor will they enjoy the  return trip when I head home in April.

My daughter doesn't understand why I miss my home in New England. Because she is here and
my grandchildren are here I should be happy, but they have their own lives and don't replace
the friends and my sister who I miss so much every day.  This is her life now and she has made friends and has new relatives (in-laws who are good to her) and her children are here, but maybe someday if her daughter moves away from her and she has to make a choice to either stay or
move, to be near her daughter or not she will might understand the choices I have been forced
to make ie here or there, with her or without her, give up my friends to move here or stay in New England.  It is a hard choice and I am not happy here and don't think I will ever be happy here.
But I'm tolerating it, and adjusting - maybe "happy" is over-rated.  As I look forward toward
the problems of aging: hearing and vision loss, forgetfulness, aches and pains and possibly
some serious disease ie cancers, autoimmune diseases etc.  I know only one thing.  I don't want
a long life.  I'll be happy to die at 85 (for example) before I lose too much of what makes me
who I am.  My mom died at 91 and her last 3 years were horrible, but even before that she had
many difficulties that required me to be pretty much a full time caregiver, chauffeur work full
time at my job, and sometimes work in a visit to my daughter at that time.  Life was very difficult
for me and stressful as well. I had frequent headaches, insomnia, a bout of cancer and treatment,
a few surgeries as well.  And of course money was always an issue - never enough as I tried to
save for retirement and cope with inflation, continuing education for my job, balancing my work
my checkbook, my life.  I don't think I did such  a good job.  Depression was the result of the
life stresses I faced.

Goodbye Florida

This blog entry comes to you from my home in FL.  I'm down here for a few months, but not exactly
visiting my daughter.  She's been busy  with things and right now she's in Orlando visiting
Disney World with my granddaughter.  I'm a bit jealous.  I've never really seen much of Disney
World.  I went once when I was driving my daughter to college in Orlando and we went for a few
hours, but didn't really get to see much or go on any rides etc.  But I'm grateful for that much.

FL is an interesting place.  I don't think they welcome anyone, but especially northerners.  They
don't like us and don't hesitate to let that show.  I'm speaking here mostly about drivers that see
our CT license plates and try to run us off the road.  I'm exaggerating that last part.  I will be heading
home in March and hope to change my vacation schedule, but that will be another entry. One thing
that is good is that my kitties are with me and I love having them here, but the downside is having
to take them home by auto.  That will be a chalenge.  Driving 1200 miles with 4 cats, 2 cars, and
luggage is overwhelming to me.  I hope not to have to travel again with the cats as I have plans
to change my routing and schedule. I also am hoping that we will not have any problems on the
road. Long distance travel just to be with family is tricky and difficult when cats are involved.
Dogs seem to travel more easily than cats.  But I love cats and don't want to upset them so next
time I will leave them at home and get a pet sitter and just stay in FL for maybe 4-6 weeks. There is much to think about and plan for, but I think it will work.  I think the cats will be happier in their
own home with a caretaker.  I will have to call and check it out with the sitters. But right now I'm happy to be heading home, happy to have my cats with me and looking forward to rejoining my
writing group.

Sunny Florida

So I'm here in sunny Florida.  I'll be staying until April.  After that I'll be what is called a "snowbird"
as I will be traveling back and forth between FL and New England for the warm season there and
spend the cold season in FL.  I'm not sure why I'm doing this.  Part of it is that my daughter and
grandchildren live in FL and part of it that the terrible cold of New England during the winter
months is much harder as one ages.  And if there are any circulatory conditions as well things are
even more difficult.  But traveling back and forth is also hard as one ages.  In my humble opinion
it's only good  for a few years 5-8 after retirement and by the age of 72 or so one should probably stop and choose one or the  other, but for a few years it's good.  Part of my family lives
here and part lives in the north.  So what do I do.  I sincerely hope I don't live too long. I don't
want to need home care or nursing home care or too much assistance from HHA, or visiting nurses.
Of course what I want will not be the deciding factor, but I am thinking of stockpiling a few
bottles of sleeping pills so that one day I may just take a permanent nap.  That can't be too bad.  I
do have to plan for my kitties though.  I don't think I should get anymore and I should make some arrangements in my will for their care.  No one cares about my animals the way I do and I imagine
that is pretty much the same thing for ones children, but people will sometimes take in children
who aren't related and sometimes they will take in pets, but maybe only one or 2 - I have 4 and
I go nuts every time I see a stray cat or kitten (especially a kitten).  Sometimes they come to my
door for food and sometimes I see them darting under structures in the cold winters or hot summers.
It tears me apart to not help so I end up feeding the ones I can't take in. No animals should live on
the streets and no animals or people should be starving or begging for food - but sadly it happens.

Home Again

It's been some time since I've written an entry to this blog.  Been busy and dealing with some depression.  I'm in FL now, away from home, but I do have my kitties with me (though at times
they can be a bit standoffish). But my home is in New England and I hope to be back there at
some point.  My house (fully furnished etc.) is there and my heart is there and many of my
friends.  Yes I can make new friends, but I haven't yet and I miss the friends I had in CT.  But
enough of that - it sounds more like a journal entry than a blog.

I've been dealing with 3 teens (grandchildren) close in age for about a week that feels like a
month.  I am thoroughly exhausted  and on top of that now that I'm home  I have discovered
that I'm all out of wine (I did get one small glass and now there is none) which I could use right
now. I will have to buy some more.  The dollar store down here sells wine, but not for a dollar.

I'm pretty sure that my kitties are glad to have me home, but they won't admit it.  Only my orange tabby is hanging with me and showing me some affection.  His loud purrs and head butts say it all.
The others were a bit standoffish at first, but they are slowly coming around.  You'd think I've
been gone for a month!!  It is good to be home in my own house and bed and be with my
kitties.  They tolerate me unconditionally.  They love to get on the bathroom sink and drink from
the faucet if I turn it on to a very slow drip.  I do that sometimes.  It makes them happy.  Who am
I to question their needs?  All I know is that as John Denver once said "Gee it's great to be back home
again."

Life in FL

My time here in FL is very calm.  Mornings are a little different here in this warm place.  I have my coffee, later some breakfast
they I play with the cats.  After some housework I usually go for
a walk, sometimes I walk with Lauren to the gym that is part of 
our privilege for paying  2 HOA fees.  I think it's all too expensive
and not worth the expense, but I don't have any control over that.
I also take a walk to my daughter's usually once a day, and then
take her dog for a walk at least twice while I'm there.  He likes to run so I take him for a run too. He's a cute little Pomeranian, but very excitable and a little mouthy.  But he loves to run and walk with me, and  I like him too.  My daughter also has a small black
cat that I love, but she's taking a back seat to the dog.  I don't like 
that.  Cats should be treated royally certainly mine are!!!

Halloween Night

Halloween Comment

I have just read a horrible news story about 3 young girls who were killed  by a hit-&-run driver
on Halloween. The girls were in the crosswalk and in 13-14 age range.  How can someone do something like that?  It may have been an accident, but without the driver stopping to tell his side it seems that speed was the issue and maybe alcohol was also involved.  I hope they find him, but it won't bring the girls back. There aren't a lot of  holidays that involve kids being outside at night  (maybe caroling near Christmas). But I feel for the parents of those girls (I don't know if they are sisters or just friends).They will forever blame themselves for letting the girls go outside at night .... etc.  But it is a difficult choice for parents.  Let their children grow and experience life and risk harm or keep them safe, protected and deny them the experiences they need to grow.  Even if the parents had been with the children they might not have been able to prevent what happened, but  maybe they wouldn't feel guilty.  I have 3 grandchildren in that age bracket (13,14-15) and they were out by
themselves on Halloween, and they were fine. But it only takes one irresponsible driver to change    all that,  And the moms will always regret that they weren't there with their daughters and probably
the dad's too, but men aren't prone to guilt the way women are.  (Which would be an interesting
blog topic some day.)

I did have a good Halloween experience in my new home.  The first time in this city as well. I
got mostly toddlers - sooo very cute.  They were all so polite too.  When  I offered them another
piece nearly all declined without prompting by the parents.  One little did take a second piece
for her brother who was at home (don't know if he was sick or what).  But I did enjoy the
little kids.  I was hoping that my grandchildren would show up they are all in their teens (14-15)
but I guess they had other plans.

One of my cats was very timid and frightened each time the doorbell rang, but another one was fine and a little curious.  I wanted to kid with the little ones and say that my cats were dogs in cat costumes, but in the end decided not to, thought they wouldn't get the joke.