Famous Seamus

Famous Seamus
Love that belly

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Losing Things

I keep misplacing things.  I can remember having something in my hand (recently it's my pocket calendar) using it and then I can't find it.  It happened again this evening.  I don't understand why
or how this happens.  I'm alone in my house except for my cats, but they only lose things that roll such as toys, balls etc.  Tonight I lost my pocket calendar.  I had just updated it with recent and pending appointments then  I got up to do something and when I got back it was gone.  I have
looked everywhere even in the trash, but couldn't find it.  I finally used another one that had hanging
around.  But I don't know what happened to the other one and it drives me crazy.  Larry will say
"What did you do with it?"  To which I always reply "if I knew that I would not be looking for it).
Sometimes men just aren't tuned in - most of the time.  I have also bee very forgetful lately.  One
more reason that I need a calendar for reminders. I missed an appointment for my cat last week.
I just forgot and didn't check my calendar (got busy cleaning and tossing then they called). As
usual I haven't been sleeping well and having a good deal of pain in my left arm and nothing
helps.

Life in FL

Well I'm in FL, living about a half mile from my daughter.  I use that distance as a running route when I go  to visit or check on the kids or the dog needs a walk.  With the return trip it makes a mile.  Not too bad, and I think the exercise is good for me.   I still have sleep problems, but I've lost weight and actually fit  in my daughter's clothes.  I went down 4 sizes, but recently gained back 2 pounds.  I'm working on losing them.  I have to stop nibbling and eating junk food (working on that too).

I have my kitties with me - all 4 - and that helps with the homesickness.  I miss my home in New
England (though not the snow or the freezing weather). In this area of FL the roads are 6 lanes wide
and the traffic is fast and I get lost easy so I'm having some difficulty getting out shopping or going
to the library etc.  In New England one can stop on the side of the road for a few minutes to check
a map or recheck the directions or signs, but that 's almost impossible here. The drivers are not
courteous; they are out to get you and use the horns liberally.

Recently I went to a movie with my daughter and grandchildren.  We saw the latest "Annie" and
it was great.  The music is wonderful and the story though sad at times was mostly upbeat.  I found
it especially interesting because I remember reading the funnies or comic strips when I was a kid
and "Annie" called "Little Orphan Annie" at that time was one that I read everyday, especially
the Sunday issue which was in color.  I remember finding it sad at times and scary, but certainly
OK for kids to read.  Then came the movies,a broadway play and now a new Annie.  It was
great and good for the kids to see as well.  I seldom get to a movie so it was a real treat for me.

I like being near my daughter, but I don't really like life in FL.  In April I will return to New England to become officially a "snow bird" who summers in the north and then heads back to FL for the winter. There is no argument about the milder winters.  They are certainly better here than in NE.
But there are other factors to consider when making life altering changes after retirement. Finding suitable housing, new doctors, transporting pets and new veterinarians, dentists, finding a bank that works in both areas (currently I use 2 banks to avoid ATM charges etc.).

My kitties are OK now, but I don't think they enjoyed the trip that brought them here;  nor will they enjoy the  return trip when I head home in April.

My daughter doesn't understand why I miss my home in New England. Because she is here and
my grandchildren are here I should be happy, but they have their own lives and don't replace
the friends and my sister who I miss so much every day.  This is her life now and she has made friends and has new relatives (in-laws who are good to her) and her children are here, but maybe someday if her daughter moves away from her and she has to make a choice to either stay or
move, to be near her daughter or not she will might understand the choices I have been forced
to make ie here or there, with her or without her, give up my friends to move here or stay in New England.  It is a hard choice and I am not happy here and don't think I will ever be happy here.
But I'm tolerating it, and adjusting - maybe "happy" is over-rated.  As I look forward toward
the problems of aging: hearing and vision loss, forgetfulness, aches and pains and possibly
some serious disease ie cancers, autoimmune diseases etc.  I know only one thing.  I don't want
a long life.  I'll be happy to die at 85 (for example) before I lose too much of what makes me
who I am.  My mom died at 91 and her last 3 years were horrible, but even before that she had
many difficulties that required me to be pretty much a full time caregiver, chauffeur work full
time at my job, and sometimes work in a visit to my daughter at that time.  Life was very difficult
for me and stressful as well. I had frequent headaches, insomnia, a bout of cancer and treatment,
a few surgeries as well.  And of course money was always an issue - never enough as I tried to
save for retirement and cope with inflation, continuing education for my job, balancing my work
my checkbook, my life.  I don't think I did such  a good job.  Depression was the result of the
life stresses I faced.