Sick Kitty etc.

One of my cats is a bit under the weather.  He was neutered and had immunizations and blood tests last week and took almost 2 days to recover from all that.  Then yesterday he had a few more shots as a
follow up - because he was a stray he needed to have 2 doses of a few shots (feline leukemia was one
of them).  He seemed ok during the evening and jumped on bed for a cuddle for half the night then he
left for other sleeping quarters - a cushy chair in the kitchen.  When I woke up he was still in his chair
but a little lethargic and cried when I tried to move him.  I did pick him up and put him on the table in
front of the window in the tv room.  He whined and cried as though it really hurt.  I was almost in tears
myself.  I called the office as soon as it opened, and they  gave me an appointment for 9 am.  I got
there at 8:30 or so and they took me right in.  He had a temp of 104 F and that is kind of high for
such a little guy.  The doctor said that he was like this after the last shots he had at the time of the surgery     so she thinks that maybe next time he should get half of the shots and a few days later the rest.  That's
ok with me, but it will cost me for 2 visits. But when you have  pets, you have a responsibility to take
care of them which includes food, shelter, love and medical needs.  Just like having children.

 And just just like children you have to plan for their lives if you should die before they do.  Rescuing is
 complicated because if you take in a stray and are barely able to feed it,  not able to give medical attention
or provide for them after you are gone should you not take the cat in?  Then if no else does is he better off?
  As a community all of us need to be more responsible pet owners and do what we can to help them.  A
warm home with cheaper food, and no medical care is better than living on the streets and getting
attacked by dogs, cars and cruel people who hurt them as sport.  I guess it's all relative and one
can only do so much.  But keeping an animal off the mean streets or dangerous wooded areas is
certainly a worthy goal.  I hope a time will come when there are no more homeless people or
animals.  We have so many charities devoted to this problem that it's hard to pick which one to
support.  But I think any of them  would be good.  My favorite is "The Cathouse on the Kings" in
California (northern) because I love cats and they do too. They have a huge area ( several acres)
all fenced in so the cats can be outside and still safe.  There are a few cat friendly dogs there as well.
They will even take on pets who survive their people.  It is necessary to make arrangements in your
will and there is a cost for the estimated care.  I think I will do that for my kitties some day.  Right
now I'm not expecting to die anytime soon (don't we all say that?).  I'm pretty sure my daughter
won't step up and take them, although she does have a cat and some other pets.

My other favorite cat rescue is the Blind Cat Rescue.  That is a beautiful safe place for blind cats.
I think there are a few cats with other type handicaps and some with multiple handicaps who get to live
theirs lives in a warm, safe, happy environment and have their needs met.  It is an amazing place: clean,
safe, and cat friendly to the max.

I Hate Football

I hate football!! There I've said it.  I don't care who hates me for that comment.  I think football is a brutal sensless endevor masking as a sport.  I suppose it's worthwhile if one has a great football career and makes
enough money to hire caretakers when his brain becomes spongelike and he can't remember his name. I know that as a result of football and other college sports some men (boys really) are able to get athletic scholarships to many colleges.  Which college may depend on how good he is in high school and where his heart is.  When I think honestly about this situation I have to wonder what would I give up to have the perks that come with attending a good college, a scholarship if I'm good enough, and maybe a pro contract if I'm great or lucky or both.  I don't know what I'd do, but I have an aversion to pain (anyone's, not just mine). Almost all the men in my life have been drawn to the game, screaming at the tv, and adoring the players  who score. But the one who has been with me the longest and the last (including father, brother-in-law, ex-husband, father-in -law etc) is not that interested in it.  He understands the rules (I don't) etc. but has no desire to watch it on tv, or even at a stadium.  He thinks that time would be better spent making money.    
Of course pro football and basket ball etc players do make money when they are good or excellent players,
but often it is at the expense of marriages, health, and sometimes even loss of life.  Is it worth it? It wouldn't
be for me, but I guess maybe it might be for some, especially men who think their masculinity is based on
performance in any area.  I guess nursing was a good career for me.  It wasn't too dangerous,  paid fairly
well, and required that I stay alert and meet academic and work certifications requirements.  In short I
had to use my brain, and my body (8-12hr.on my feet) to meet career goals etc.  I didn't get rich, but I
have a decent pension and enough savings to not be too worried about retirement unless we have
runaway inflation, high medical expenses.   But the athletes who abuse their heads and bodies may have
a lot of money, but paying even for the best nursing home at 50-60 years old is not my idea of a good
retirement  

my cats

Until recently I have had 3 cats with whom I share my home, and they are sweet and all very different.Then about 3-4 weeks ago a little long-haired tuxedo cat befriended me. He'd been living on the streets for about a year and half. My neighbor had been feeding him since May of 2012. She believes he was just dropped off because he was so young, but also so friendly that it was unlikely that he was wild. Then this year about a month ago he showed up in my back yard, and of course I made friends with him. He began showing up everyday and I of course fed him. I slowly introduced him to my cats and they seemed to just ignore each other. With that I decided to try to get him to the vet for shots and neutering. That took some planning, but he wouldn't cooperate. Then he showed up one morning, and I called the vet and the tech said they'd squeeze him in. He's almost all set needing only one more visit for follow-up shots. He's very affectionate, playful, cuddly, and jumps in my lap. He's also a bit unpredictable scratching me a few times on my face, and he howls during the evening - wanting to go outside. I am afraid if he goes out something will happen to him or he won't come back or he'll he'll pick up fleas (not likely in the winter, though)or get hit by a car, or chased by a mean dog (although we only have one cat chasing dog that I know of, but really, isn't one enough?) My vet said that even coyotes have been killing cats in some areas, and that terrified me too. So he's becoming an indoor only cat, but he's not thrilled with that life style at all. I have to run around with strings and balls to play with him and thereby distract him from thoughts of the outdoors at night. I guess I shouldn't complain. The exercise is probably good for me, but it's also tiring. I just hope I don't find
 anymore cats.  I can't aford anymore, for sure, and with the possibility of a move to FL in the future and
the prospect of moving 1500 miles with 4 cats, I'd really can't take any more cats into my home.  As it
it is, I don't know how I will get them to FL.  Flying has one set of problems and limitations and driving
has another.  What to do?  I have lost sleep over this problem and still have no definite plan.

Coping with ADD

Earlier this year I was tested for and diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.  This is probably more common then

we realize.  When I was a kid 50+ years ago there was no knowledge of this disorder, and when it was 

finally identified, it was also described as a problem with boys.  If girls behaved the same way they were

considered poorly behaved, parents didn't discipline them enough etc. anything but ADHD. Remember 

the H referring to hyperactivity can also refer to hyperactivity of the mind IE flitting from one thought to another, and daydreaming too.  For me daydreaming was an escape from an unhappy existence.  My

parents were OK, but my teachers were nuns and they were rigid, controlling, stern and sometimes

down right mean. But in fairness to them, they didn't know that these problems could be physiological

rather than just behavioral.  They also had performance expectations for behavior and academics. They
were right to demand some order, but they were unfair in the distribution of penalties.  For some reason
unknown to me boys were allowed a lot of leeway when it came to behavior.  Much more was expected
of girls and punishments were harsher and readily handed out to girls who dared to be restless, inattentive
or any number of behaviors found to be unacceptable (such as asking questions, or daydreaming). Physical
punishment such as hitting were not common, but did happen and most often to girls though they were
usually better behaved than the boys.  I think the problem was rooted in expectations.  Girls were simply
expected to behave better and boys, well "boys will be boys" was the thinking of that period.

In any case I exhibited all the usual behaviors usually  associated with ADD: not paying attention, interrupting, talking when I shouldn't and always in the dark about assignments, test instructions etc. I         did better with written or printed instructions so I could recheck etc.  To my mother's credit she wasn't a harsh disciplinarian and believed me if I told her I tried.  There were times, though when I gave up in despair, crying and insisting I just couldn't do it. I didn't know  what the teacher wanted or how to do it.  It was frightening at times.

Today I see teachers like the ones who were interviewed  after the tornadoes in the Midwest and the 

teachers from the Sandy Hook shootings and I think they are so special.  I wonder why I didn't have

nice teachers, ones that cared.  In high school I did have at least one teacher in each of  my 4 years of high school  that I was able to connect with and some that seemed to understand me.  I found some of the male teachers more tolerant and accepting of me.  

Many years later I went to nursing school as a young, newly divorced mother with a small daughter. I 

somehow managed to graduate with honors, but it took all my energy, and I think my daughter missed so      much of my time. Her father pretty much ignored her, but my mother adored her and made up for some

of the sadness she incurred from  her divorced parents, her busy mom and her uninvolved father. My father
was also very fond of her and to some extent she could do no wrong, but he was also quick to anger given
even small provacations.  But she learned how to manage him early on.

Recently I've been reading a magazine about ADD//ADHD.  My therapist lent it to me, and it is  anamazing
magazine.  It's articles have hit a sensitive part of my brain.  It has made me wonder how I ever managed
to get through school, and 34 years of hospital work (as an RN).  From mixing up appointment dates, to
hiding things on myself it seems that I'm always stressed out whenever I'm doing something important.  It is
sad because no one knew about learning disabilities and ADD when I was a little girl.  The nuns dealt with
my indiosyncracies rather harshly.  I have no good memories of elementary school.  By high school I had
managed to work out some strategies to help myself.  I was not a happy kid most of the time.  During the
summer when I could get lost in reading library books I was happier.

Winter - No Wonderland

Winter is here, I know - my hands and feet are turning white especially when I'm outdoors. My home is cold (conserving oil)so they get white indoors too. The only time I'm comfortable is after I'm in bed for about a half hour and have begun to warm up. I think an electric blanket might be in my future. I don't want to be a complainer, but winter brings out the worst in me. Despite all that, I do bundle up and take one of my cats outdoors for a romp almost everyday. He doesn't mind the cold and loves to be outside. He has a tantrum when I bring him in after 15-20 minutes. He also waits for an opportunity to sneak out whenever the door is opened. Someday he'll trip me, and I'll break an arm or a leg or drop a dozen eggs all over the place. Then there's snow: wet, cold, sticky, slippery, miserable snow. We shovel, we sand, we use kitty litter but it still melts a little in the sun and freezes after dark, and in the morning the stairs, driveway, and roads are perilous. The high winds will blow you down the street, mess up your hair and chill you to the bones. At night when it freezes again the lids on trash cans become frozen tight and sometimes car doors freeze shut. If the snowfall is heavy and wet it can be very difficult to shovel and remove. Then there's the time after the snow - in a few days it becomes dirty, Is there any good in all this? Well, freshly fallen snow is beautiful especially at night. The moon shines on it on the ground and on leafless trees giving everything a mystical appearance. The little kids like snow to play in, and those a bit older like it because school is usually canceled for safety reasons (giving them an extra day to get that report done, or study for a test). Snow falling on a night with a full moon (or 3 quarters)looks erie and amazing as the moon or street light catch the snowflakes en route to the earth. Of course scientists tell us that no 2 snowflakes are alike, but I don't know how they could prove that. I read an article about it once, but I didn't really understand all of it and retained even less. Icicles are also pretty amazing as they form along the edges of houses, trees, power lines, tall buildings etc. Another thing that happens is that the air during and after a snowfall seems so fresh and clean as though dust, germs, pollutants and odors have been washed away by the snow. Sometimes the snow appears to have a slight bluish tint at night (a little bit even in the daytime too)gleaming and sparkling. But no matter how beautiful it might appear, if there is way too much 10-12 inches it's just overwhelming when trying to clean it up and if it's a wet snow it can be so heavy that some roofs will collapse or be damaged, most likely older roofs. Then it becomes dangerous and expensive to repair. I'm sure there are many more positive and negative comments that could be made, but this is all I can think of this evening. Feel free to leave comments and let me know what I've missed.

Problems with Hunting

I admit it: I'm an echo freak, and an animal advocate. I don't do as much as I should, but I worry about it and feel for the animals that are harmed every day for profit. Sadly, the people who are responsible for the killing of elephants for ivory, and other animals for fur or food derive some sort of sick pleasure from the pain inflicted on them. I have had a few discussions with my brother-in-law (not really discussions, more like he yelled, and I didn't get a word in). He maintains that killing deer, wolves and other animals hunted for food, fur, or skin actually improves the herd and that the gun clubs actually help the survival of the animals by killing some animals. He believes that they reduce their numbers so they don't starve. I don't actually disagree with this premise, but I don't believe that hunting has anything to do with it. Thinning the herds may have some sort of benefit, but putting a bullet between the eyes (figuratively) of a doe or buck is not something I ever want to do. I think nature has a way of thinning the herd and doesn't need any help from us. Besides how much do you think the deer that is killed thinks it's ok? Also I don't think the hunters are careful enough or have such good aim that they don't make mistakes. I think they go for the biggest and healthiest deer and there is little compassion for the one they hit. Having said that a part of me thinks that what they do (the hunters) is better than what we see happening to animals in the slaughter houses and factory farms. So there is really no answer that is good for the animals. Thinning a herd means we kill one individual so that others can survive long enough to mate and reproduce and then we can kill more. Also the hunters usually go after the biggest and healthiest animals, not the sick and weakest. The only answer is vegetarianism and I'm close to that, eating meat only 2-3 times a week. I worry about that, but I also see that the wolves attack the deer and the death of the deer is not quick or painless. So are we that different from the animals. And while I would not kill an animal to eat it, I do eat meat. My compromise is to not eat meat for 2-4 meals in a week. I don't use cows milk (almond milk is good), but I like cheese, eggs, and chicken which causes me a great deal of anxiety. What is the answer? I wish I knew, but I have an early day tomorrow so I have to go to sleep without answering my question.

Tick Season: Not Yet Over

I found a tick on me last evening when I put my PJ's on. I'm not sure what kind it is, but after looking around online I think it may be just a plain dog tick which would be good news. I will call my MD today and find out what the nurse practitioner thinks. Lyme ticks are usually abundant in the spring so that also gives me hope that this won't be a serious problem. next day So the tick was one of the Lyme/dear ticks. Size and color gave some clues, but the defining issue is the bullseye welt it leaves on your skin - an outer red circle and dark spot in the center. It itches and hurts at the same time, but scratching doesn't help. It also feels hard to touch. You must have antibiotics, doxycycline as early as possible to prevent the Lyme arthritis disease. Doxycycline is the drug of choice, but if you are allergic there is probably an alternative. The thing is these ticks aren't through for the season yet. A mild autumn has allowed them to reproduce more than usual so they willcontinue to be a threat for several more weeks. I still have leaves to finish raking and bagging. I'll have to try clothes that cover most of me snugly. Not the best thing to wear for hard work in the yard. Pets can bring them into the house, but my cats don't go out so I only have one way to pick up these horrible creatures-- being in the wrong place - outdoors. So I guess I'm staying inside until the first snow. My advice to the readers -- Be careful out there. It's a tick jungle.

Remembering my mother

Today I found some of my mother's belongings (she died in 2010). One item sort of touched me. It was a spiral bound notebook that I had given her with a sign on the front in large print saying "If you come to visit me and I'm sleeping, please wake me up. I can sleep anytime, but can't visit any time. If you can't bear to wake me then at least leave me a short note so I know you've been here." Sadly the visitors were mostly too shy to leave a note - only a few actually left one. I now have that notebook and finding it was like finding a small part of my mother. I did a lot for my mom, was truly her caretaker and significant person for many years and now she is gone. No one lives forever I know, and a part of me is glad that she is no longer suffering, but I truly wish her last years had been a little better. She was lonely, felt isolated and because of her poor hearing didn't have much conversation. But she refused to use a hearing aid so that part was her choice. That made it hard for her and our family to converse and feel a connection. When communication is absent or very difficult it usually gets even worse with time. And in my mother's case it did. But there were some good times. One of my best memories is the last birthday she had about 2 months before her death. I have written about that day in one of my journals and shared the story with some cousins. Perhaps I will write it here. It will lift the spirits of anyone who reads it.

Listening Skills

I wrote this entry for my writing group this morning and decided to post it here as well. Our topic was about personality traits which are valued and of course those which we might not want to have. As is usual we are free to approach the topic in any manner we choose. The following was my essay: So many personality traits to think about, but after some thought I have decided that "listening" is first on my list. Sadly I am not a good listener. I 'zone' out frequently and sometimes miss important information. But when someone listens to me and draws my attention with questions and comments I am so pleasantly surprised and sometimes amazed and remain engaged longer. For me listening trumps almost everything else, and yet I struggle with listening and paying attention. Taking notes helps me keep my focus, but that is not always possible. It is not a lack of interest that causes my wandering mind, more like a computer that freezes and needs to be rebooted. But how does one reboot the mind? So when I'm with someone who listens and gets the information the first time around I am in awe of his or her abilities and generally honored if I am the one to whom they listen. Good listeners make the speaker feel important and respected. Poor listening skills require tolerance and patience. I have worked on my listening skills my whole life, and I continue to train myself to stay tuned to someone who is speaking. Politicians are a challenge, but provide me with an opportunity for some serious practice to improve my listening skills. But the process is slow.
I should say Donald Trump is not someone to whom I choose to listen.  I try not to be too political,
but at times I must be honest also.

Little Black Kitty

There is a little black and white tuxedo kitty in my neighborhood. A few weeks ago I invited him in and he's been coming to my home 2-3 times each day for a bite to eat and some love of course since then. But his behavior is puzzling because he's lovable and friendly inside, but afraid of me outside.I can't pick him up or pet him, but I can open my door and let him in. Once in he's a lap cat, purrs loudly, pushes his head into my hand when I pet him and eats the cat food I give him. He prefers the canned, pate, or ground. He doesn't like the little cubes of "meat" and if I serve that he licks up the sauce and then walks away. As a matter of fact so do my other cats. I must remember that when I'm shopping for cat food. Unfortunately I have several cans of the cubed stuff. Perhaps if I mash it with a fork he'll give it a try. But it seems that I shall have to remember those preferences next time I shop for cat food. Oh yes I have named this little kitty Timothy Cat or TC for short. Does that mean I have to keep him? I'm afraid so, a name is pretty final. On another topic: I raked and bagged 9 big trash bags of leaves (of course, what else would I rake?), and I'm tired and a little achey . I took some naproxin, and it just now beginning to kick in. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight for a change. Tomorrow is Halloween so I hope everyone (even those who don't read my blog) has a safe and happy evening. I'm looking forward to all the little kids. And yes, I did buy candy - Twix - more cookie and less candy.

Once More

And it's back to FL to help my daughter during her last year in a masters program in social work.  I'm not really happy about this situation, but I've never been very
good at saying no.  This is a good thing for her, and sets an excellent example for her children about lifelong learning.  They know that education is life long, that it is good for us, that
it gives us a life worth living, gives us the tools we need to have a good life, be
good citizens, good parents.  If I had not lost my job and retired I would not be
able to do this for her, and part of me wishes I didn't have to do it.  I'm kind of
old to be dealing with 3 teens.  It scares me to tell you the truth.  My main
ammunition will be a stern "wait till your mother gets home"  in quotes because
it's a phrase from a tv sitcom or cartoon from tv in the past.  I'm hoping I won't need to do that
too often.  I just hope she doesn't make me cook.  I hate that.
I have an addendum to this entry. Recently my daughter and I had a pretty long phone call (lately that is unusual), and it seems she will not be starting school until Jan. of 2015 so I'm good for a year now. I am delighted, and perhaps when I do go to FL at that time it will be a permanent move - kitties and all.

Too Tired

July 6, 2012


Today I had an idea for a blog entry.  It had to do with defining "the good life" and thinking about what sort of advice one might give to relatives or off-spring about understanding what makes a good life, and how  one would  achieve this.  I want to remember this so I can write about it later, but right now I'm too tired. I have a busy 2 weeks coming up - family visiting, social gathering, and surgery pretty much in that order.  I hope I can address all of these issues.

Aug. 15, 2012

So my surgery is done, but I will be starting PT in a few weeks.  Not looking forward to that, but I have to if I want to get full mobility back and heal and experience less pain. So far there have been no complications.  It has been very warm - in the 90's for the last few weeks, cooling a little in the evening, but unpleasant, humid, and hot for the most part.  Which brings me to my topic i.e. The Good Life.  We all have a vision of what life might be like if we won the lottery or maybe most of us.  However, I've never thought of writing that dream down so maybe I'll do that now.  

First I'd have more money than I'd actually needed, nice home, maybe some house keeping help once or twice a week.  I'd have a good reliable auto not more than 2 years old and all paid for. In addition a second vehicle for recreation either a van or large suv  I'd have a savings account, with a good buffer, nice clothes,  and maybe a good job with a good salary and benefits.   That's sort of mundane, I know.  So what's more exciting - not sure.  I'd love to have AC and not be afraid to use it.  I'd love to have someone cook for me, but I'm not sure that's part of a "good life", but it might be nice.  But heat and AC are important and animals.  I want a house full with a nanny just for the animals so I can play and someone can clean the litter box, vacuum the rug, etc.  But if I had a dog I think I'd like to do the walking.  It would be good for both of us.  A yoga or exercise class and exercising 2-4 times a week would be good for me.  Then I'd like to write short stories about my cats and other animals and maybe a book.  I also want music in my house, CD's, radios, ipod, computers, and occ concerts away from home.  

Travel would be good, but I find it somewhat exhausting so maybe only one trip a year or every other year.  I'd also like to spend lots of fun time with my grandchildren.  I hope I live long enough to see what sort of life they each make for themselves.  Some good jewelry to leave to my grand kids and my daughter and something special to give my son-in-law or leave to him.  I might buy a car for Lily or give her my old one some time so she'd have one for school.   

Why am I writing all this, because I think my desires are moderate and my dreams aren't a millionaire's life, but just a comfortable one.  I'd also like to be able to donate large sums to charities especially animal charities although there are so many needy causes from helping the elderly to college students to homeless kids and adults and veterans or kids in foster care.   If you give a dollar to 100 charities will it be of any use or is it better to give  $100 to just one charity or maybe $50 to 2 of them?  I don't know, but if I had millions I'd still have to decide which to support and which to ignore.  Or maybe I could rotate through several each year.  I can see where being wealthy or even just comfortable can force some difficult choices on one unless one gives it all away and is no longer wealthy.  I'd also like to do some volunteer work with animals or infants in the NICU of a hospital.  

So even being wealthy or comfortable wouldn't remove the difficult decisions I would have to make. In fact it might make it harder because I haven't even yet considered what I would do about relatives who are having problems since I do have several of them too.  Still if I won the lottery for a million or more I wouldn't
decline my winnings.

In the final analysis I believe that "the good life" means having friends, having
enough money to educate your children or at least help with the tuition, pay my
bills, buy things I need, live in a decent apartment or house, own a reliable car and have a substantial savings account.  Yes money is important as well as necessary. It would be frosting on the cake if I had a good job that I also liked and paid decent wages too allowing me to save part of it each week.  I guess part of it would include a child or 2 maybe.  I'll have to think about that one.  Adoption??
 

Chipmonk CPR

This story is a few years old, but since I haven't used it here before I thought some
might find it interesting and amazing.  That's what I thought about it as I was
writing this.

Today I went outside to feed the birds and squirrels, but the minute I opened the door my red tabby cat Seamus ran out the door like a streak of lightening.   I didn't run immediately because he doesn't leave the yard usually when this happens.  He just stalks things.  I grabbed my cup of peanuts for the squirrels and headed out to retrieve my little  boy. When I looked at him I realized he had something live in his mouth.   When I got close enough to grab him I realized it was a chipmunk..  I tried to pry open his mouth and was successful after a few seconds.  He growled a warning to me to back off, but I never really listen to that kind of threat.  He just wants to scare me.  So I continued to pry his little mouth open and finally the little chipmunk fell out, landed on the ground and lay very still.  I thought he was dead.  I picked him up and held him and cradled  him in my hand while I inspected him.  He wasn't breathing.  He had a small hole on his right lower abdomen with only a spot of blood  and his left front paw (looked more like a little hand) was bloodied.  I looked at him for several seconds wondering what to do.  Then with one finger I pressed on his chest and a gulp of air came out.  I pressed 2 more times and the same thing happened each time.  Then he started to breathe  a little on his own.  I stroked him gently and walked to the bird bath with him in my hand and put a tiny drop of water on the side of  his mouth.  He quickly  moved his mouth and swallowed.   I gave him another and watched him.  He licked his lips and seemed to regain consciousness.  He started to squirm a little as I continued to touch him gently with one finger.  Then suddenly he moved very quickly and jumped right out of my hand and ran off (to the bushes in front of the shed).  I didn't get a chance to check out his bloody paw.  I put some food under the bushes for him and a little water nearby.  When he ran he didn't appear to limp.  It seems unbelievable  and amazing that I could resuscitate a chipmunk.  I know as you read this you might think I'm crazy, but I thought it was amazing!  Imagine CPR to  a tiny little chipmunk.   I do hope he survives.  And  that bad boy Seamus is grounded till it snows.  

After that little incident I did some research on the life styles of chipmunks and learned that they only live for about 3 years, they mate for life and hibernate in underground borrows  during the winter.  They usually have about 3 litters in a lifetime. Moms nurse the babies during the winter and feed on the stored food. They keep their dens very clean with separate quarters for sleeping, eating  and elimination all underground.   I have found that they show up around 4:30pm as they gather 

food and carry it to the dens. This year I've only seen one a few times.  I just  think they are sooo cute.  I hope I see some in the spring.

Countdown to Halloween

Halloween will soon be here,  and I have yet to buy candy to hand out to the kids.
I'm not a dentist or hygienist, but I am concerned about poor dental of our
children.  I love sweets of almost any kind except hard candies, but in a pinch
I'll eat a few if I'm desperate. The last few days I've been on a cookie binge and
I really need to stop.  I will when the cookies are all gone.   I do brush my teeth
several times during the day when I'm home.  I should have done it when I was
working, but I never had enough time with a half hour lunch and a long wait in    the cafeteria line.

But back to Halloween and my dental concerns.  I'd like to find something that
the kids would like but wouldn't damage their teeth.  Once I gave note pads, but
that didn't work out well for the toddlers, and another time I gave pens which I
found on my lawn the next day.  Fruit is good, but sometimes parents are reluctant
to let the kids have it because of incidents  of people using the fruit to harm
the kids (using needles or poison in them).  Small toys might be OK for the very
young, but for the teens and  "inbetweens" that might be expensive and hard to
figure out what would be good.  So it's back to M&M's or Hershey squares.

I don't like Halloween, but I love to see the kids in costumes esp. the toddlers and the ones that aren't so shy.  Maybe someday I'll think of a solution to my dilemma.
I'd welcome some suggestions.  In the mean time I wish everyone a happy and
safe Halloween.  Kiss your kids.

Taxes, kitties and more.

Still behind in my taxes, but a new kitty has been hanging around my yard and in my house.  He's provided hours of distraction.  I've also been working in my yard trimming trees (the areas that I can reach of course) because they are growing through the fence.  I look at it as exercise of a sort.  I've been pulling weeds, and dumping all the stuff over the fence (it's an unpopulated area between my house and the school next door.  My neighbor uses it the same way. No garbage of course, just weeds and branches that I cut. I used to hate that sort of work, but now I find it a pleasant distraction from things like vacuuming, cooking and laundry or taxes.  Of course they all have to be done eventually so it's really like a game of chess or checkers.  One move here, 2 moves there. One task done, one waiting.  Retiring and getting older doesn't really change one's
responsibilities.  There are still plenty of things that need to be done, but I can delay and juggle a little more than when I was working full time at the hospital. I also have more distractions: cats, magazines, computer time, books,  walks, music fest in town, writing group, and senior day on Wednesday at one of the local restaurants (we get a discount for being old) and my blog of course. That part is OK, but the patronizing smiles could be eliminated. And as I finish this entry my taxes are completed and mailed off to the gov.  No refund for me this year instead a big check, 2 really one for the state and one for the feds were sent. No senior discount that I could find.

New kitty complications

If you read this blog, you know that I love kitties, cats, and felines of all species - domestic, small, big, wild, exotic, fluffy, slinky - all of them and am drawn to the homeless even more so.  I have 3 of my own or is it that the three of them are sharing me? Could be.  They do run me. Recently I have been visited by a little tuxedo cat (discussed in a previous entry).  He feels tiny compared to my group (all 12-16 lbs) has long hair, but not fluffy or thick - kind of sleek.  The problem is that he visits me twice a day for food, flea treatments, cuddles and naps, but he won't stay.  He gets along well with my group and loves lap time with me.  When he decides to sleep in my house he likes my pillow and wraps his paws around my head.  I think he likes the contact.  When he first comes in he runs around meowing and I catch him and comb him for fleas and ticks.  I do have some Hartz topical flea stuff that seems to work for the ticks too.  It is supposed to last for a month, but it's more like 3 weeks.

I'm planning to visit my daughter who happens to live in FL (I'm in CT) and stay for close to a year to help out  with my 3 grandchildren (plus a managerie of animals)while she finishes her masters in social work.  So- moving my group will be difficult enough without trying to plan for one more.  Still I worry about him when he's outside at night, and I offer him food and a place to stay, and he does come inside sometimes.  But I wish I knew if he had a family because he needs to be neutered, have shots etc. Also he doesn't actually know what a litter box is used for. He is   a little unpredictable, ocasionally  swiping at me for some unknown reason.  I think he spends his time away from my house in the woods because he usually has around 6-10 ticks and sticky things we used to call devil's teeth when I was kid, stuck to his fur, but I don't know the real name.  He is cute and seems to be winning my heart.  I don't really need this.  I've been trying to follow him sometimes to see
if he goes to a home, but he loses me after 20 minutes. One smart kitty it seems.
To be continued.

10/27/2013

The new kitty now named Timothy Cat or TC for short has resisted moving into my house, but he still visits and takes long naps and purrs very loudly.  He's another one that doesn't like me on the computer.  When he came in tonight he tried to eat but had to jump in my lap after about 2 bites.  He seems to love being loved even more than food.  Right now he just came inside and had a few bites, many pets interrupting my writing then eating then back to my lap (causing me to put the computer down quickly before he punctures the screen). He has his few minutes of petting, scratching, brushing and then goes back to the food for a few minutes.  He is a little character, but he's stealing my heart. The problem is I shouldn't have another kitty.  I'll be moving in a year or 2 and traveling with kitties -4 of them is no easy task when it's more than 1500 miles.  I'm losing sleep over this trying to
figure out the easiest way to do this.  Any idea?

Woodstock And More

Today I went to the Woodstock Fair (not the same Woodstock of the rock concerts).  I don't usually like these events, and today was no exception. I
found myself exhausted, achy, hungry, thirsty, and annoyed by just about
everything.  My friend knows I'm not too happy about these things, but since
he doesn't read my blog I think I'm safe venting in this manner.  I do enjoy
looking at some of the booths that sell almost anything from food to RV's.
The problem is we don't like the same sites.  I like books, jewelry, animals,
some of the homemade items (just a few) and I like to touch.  But you can't
touch the animals that you see - unless you're very careful and sneaky.  I am
both.  I love the bunnies, the goats, the sheep, birds etc and especially any
baby animals.  I also can't resist talking to babies and toddlers and pets on leashes. But it is heart breaking to see the ones in cages, knowing that some may end up as food. (That would be the chickens and some bunnies and calves).  I do eat meat, but really very little for the most part.  I seldom cook it.

Next he wants to go the Springfield Fair (MA).  I really don't want to go, but might get dragged there against my will.

When I finally got home I was numb and tired, and very thirsty.  Of course
after I got settled I opened my computer to check my email.  Someone reminded
me of my blog and here I am updating it.

Next item - cats.  I have 3, but another one is trying to move in.  He's young and very friendly and likes to cuddle.  Imagine a lap cat.  One of my other 3 likes my
lap, but the other 2 only tolerate a few minutes and literally fly out of my arms or
lap whenever I attempt to cuddle with them.. Only if I offer them a brushing by
waving the brush at them and tapping it on the floor or the arm of a chair do they
let me actually grab them a little and they will stay as long as I keep brushing.
But I'm OK with that - they rule.  So I need a name for a little tuxedo cat.  I've
been thinking something from the Harry Potter series like Colin, Amos, Teddy
or maybe Merlin (although I don't think Merlin was a character in the Harry Potter books, but I like the name.)  I also have to get him acclimated to my cats and them
to him to avoid any bloodshed. If anyone actually reads this and has a suggestion
I would love to hear it.  When I finally decide on a name I will post it in this blog.
I wish everyone a pleasant Labor Day, spent with friends or family or both.

10/22/2013

Since this blog entry my little visitor kitty has been in my house a lot and fits
right in with my cats.  I have tried several names for him and the most recent
and probably the final one is Timothy Kat or TK or TC for short.  He's very
lovable and cuddly, but only for short periods then he's on the run.  Next are
shots, neutering and flea treatment.  I haven't been able to get him to stay inside
for very long. Half way through the night he wants out and howls.  When he does stay for a few hours he sleeps on my pillow and wraps his little paws around my head.  I think it reminds him of his mom (my hair maybe). He doesn't
seem to understand the purpose of a litter box.  I'm hoping time will help
him figure it out. Stay tuned for further updates.

The Last 2 years

So it has been a long time since I entered a page to this blog.  Which means it's about time.  So much has happened in the last few years and the last few months.
After my mother died my friend and I started renovations on my mother's house.  We removed all the kitchen cabinets, sink etc - all but the fridge.  We put in new floors in 2 rooms and cleaned and resurfaced the wood floors - ourselves.  It took almost 2 years, and when it was finished I moved in with my cats (a month before hurricane Irene hit New England which is another story).  Then we started work
on my house.  We stripped down most of the inside.  I'm good at that, but when
it came to refinishing the inside, Larry of course did about 90% of it with me as
the carpenter's helper.  It was long, tedious and grueling work.  When it was finished we put it on the market to sell.  That took another year or so with price reductions because the housing and real estate market dried up.  Last Friday
we closed - partially until the home equity loan is paid from the proceeds of the
sale.  But at this point the buyers are committed and can't back out.  From that
money I'll being paying Larry for his work - he never asked for money, but I
wouldn't be an honest person if I never gave him a cent for all he did.  So
that will take a large clump, but it has to be done.  If I had sold it "as is" I
wouldn't have made any money on it.  So I'm relieved, and accepting the
lower amount.

 There are still some repairs that could be done to this house (my mother's)
esp. to 3 of the windows.   But that is another issue.

I am glad that this is about over.  The electric and water have been changed to
the buyers and we have a few papers to still be signed and then I'm getting my check.

Growth Through Discomfort

ls it comfortable for you to look at events, political speeches and big changes from a perspective that isn't your own?  How do you feel about practicing that right now?

I like it actually.  It's important to get a variety of opinions about almost anything.
I will admit that it is uncomfortable, but it's a kind of discomfort that makes one grow. And  growth, personal growth really only happens with the ability to listen to others, take in the ideas, analyze and dissect them, honestly and  then form an opinion.  I also like to challenge myself with forming arguments against my own opinions.  I am a worrier by nature, and sometimes I look for reasons to worry, afraid that I might be missing something that will get me when I least expect it.  But some worrying can lead to prevention, solutions, and new opinions.

I don't want to sound paranoid.  It's just that I have a slight problem with not paying attention so I miss things.  The worrying forces me to review the things that I might have overlooked.  The downside of this is that the worrying sometimes causes me to miss other things frequently of equal importance especially sleep.  I am a bit of an extremist in many ways: too much sweets, too many earrings, too many books, note books, pads and programs on my computer.  Even too many animals at one time.(Though I feel certain that one can never have too many cats.)
I am prone to extremes: enough is only enough when it's too much.  I have too many pens and most of them don't write any more. Moving has forced me to rid myself of many of these things, but still I'm overflowing with stuff that I can't throw out or give away because it's opened and partially used (lotions and cosmetics, soaps etc).  And now I'm way off my subject.

However, my best conversations are with my daughter when we're on the same wave politically or socially.  Often she can enlighten me with her perspective and make me think, but I don't have the same effect on her nearly as often.  But getting out of one's comfort zone is certainly one way of growing emotionally, politically and intellectually and possibly in other ways.  But much depends on how the person who holds the opposing view presents his case.  I don't like to converse with loud, obnoxious, argumentative people who won't give me the same tolerance and respect that I would offer him or her.  If I give him freedom to speak, I expect the same.  Red neck kind of men usually bellow out their opinions and then won't be quiet in order to hear the retort.  I would like to see those people bound and gagged and forced to listen to the other side or any side but their own. Wouldn't that be something to see?  My older sister is a bit like that and a bit red necked
as well.  It is difficult to have an intelligent discussion with her especially if
she disagrees - then things get heated.  One can't disagree with her and manage
to get a word in at all.  She shouts, interrupts, and gets downright nasty.  Needless to say we don't have discussions of any substance esp. if we're on opposite sides of the issue.  But I don't think I'm missing much.
                      

Reflections on a Difficult Time

I was listening to NPR on my car radio today.  They were broadcasting an interview with Sandra Day O'Connor former Justice of the Supreme Court.  It was very interesting.  She tells us about the time just after she graduated from law school and was looking for work. Apparently her husband was finishing law school so she needed to work.   Several large and prestigious legal firms had notices on the information bulletin boards at her college.  She did say the name, but I was driving and couldn't write it down and now I can't remember it.  But everywhere she applied or tried to apply she was told "we don't hire women". No apology, no explanation and no laws to prevent that sort of discrimination. She is older than I am, but not so much that I never experienced sex discrimination in work, hiring, and most especially in school. Of course being a Catholic girl in a religious school we saw the discrimination on a daily basis.  Nuns were secondary citizens in the religious life. They couldn't be priests and were subject to the authority of the priest and the bishop and the pope who were all men. When the sex scandals surfaced they were always with priests or brothers (monks).  There have been some scandals involving nuns, but they were few and related to  the abuse of the children and sometimes women in their care, but not of a sexual nature.  There weren't many scandals, but enough to make me wonder about the preaching.  Imagine someone in authority telling you that you must be honest, not steal, not be lazy, not touch your own private parts for pleasure - all these things are sins (and many more that I don't really have the space to mention), displeasing to god, making the devil happy, and  a shame to your parents if you get caught - and then committing all these acts and more as well as molesting young children who are terribly hurt by these acts.  It should destroy your faith. I can't imagine why anyone is still a member of this church. I do believe in God, but not the one the catholic church believes in or claims to believe in.

It is interesting to me that things have changed a lot, but there is still room for improvement.  So these days a potential employer can't say that he won't hire you because you are female.  That is simply against the law.  But what he can do is make it difficult to get hired  or to keep the job.  If she has children and knows that she will have to work odd hours or weekends she may not be able to meet these requirements.  If training of a specific nature is required and she  is unable to get the training because she is female then she won't get the job, but she may have a chance to fight that depending on the specifics.

But back to Sandra Day O'Connor.  She faced much sex discrimination as a female attorney, and she sort of just went with the flow.  I think she's an amazing woman and I am sorry she retired.  She was worried about her husband who was and presumably still is suffering from Alzheimer's disease or some type of dementia.  Not many men do that for their wives, but in large numbers women care for their husbands until it becomes impossible.  Most people with this disease are older citizens and their caretakers are also older.  That makes it hard when it comes to some of the physical aspects of care and almost impossible in some cases.

My father suffered from this disease, and my mother and I took care of him for years, but when he got aggressive and threw things we had to place him in a nursing home.  My mother was only about 4ft 10 inches tall and very frail herself.  I helped but was working full time at that time and a single parent as well.  I couldn't be there all the time and my mother's health was deteriorating.  We visited regularly. The nurses were good. He died about 5 years after moving to a nursing home.  It is a sad and terrible disease that steals a person's memory and exhausts his caretakers and family members.  And yet so little is known about it, it's causes and prevention, and most of what is known is not helpful.  Treatments are still in the trial stages.  I hope my sisters and I are spared the ravages of this disease. I for one have seen more than enough.

When one is in this situation with a parent or mate who is draining the life from
her death sometimes seems like the only way out.  It is sad and tragic and research needs to be done yes, but something needs to be done for the caretakers.  They need help too.

Progress Report

Well I have finally put my house on the market and a few people have looked at it.  But the housing market is usually slow at this time of year.  In the spring things should be better.

L will be going to visit my daughter and family in a week or so.  He likes to take the kids to the
strawberry festival - which I have never seen.  The kids don't know so of course they will be wildly
happy and excited when they see him.  Sadly only one of them will be able to go because the other two have had behavioral episodes and are grounded.  I'm glad they don't read this blog because they might
recognize themselves.

It has been a long 3 years for me working on 2 houses, packing up one house, moving and unpacking, finding lost items, keeping up with bills, my checkbook,  kitties, visits to my daughter and even
grocery shopping is a pain (maybe it was, but now I notice it more) and it has been bitterly
cold and then it gets warmer. Then there were months and months of shoulder pain, major surgery, recovery and I'm still having a lot of pain in the shoulder.   We've also had some serious snow, and heavy rains, and then a little sunshine or a spring- like day. Thats New England - if you don't like the weather wait a day and you'll get something else.  But nobody promises it will get better.  We had a massive snow storm with hurricane-like winds.  It even had a name, in fact 2 names. In CT it  is called Storm Charlotte  and elsewhere it's called Nemo. It dumped tons of snow everywhere.  The roads were impassable, roofs were caving on some structures, the snow plow got stuck on my street and 2 more vehicles came to help get him free the first one had also become stuck.  I think they said we had almost 34 inches of snow over 2 days.

I have never liked snow even when I was child.  I do enjoy watching it fall and build up a bit,  but being
out in it is not something I'd willingly choose, and driving in it is still dangerous, and shoveling just hurts too
much.

Writing

I had some good ideas yesterday at my writing group, but I didn't write them down and now I can't remember what they were.  Perhaps the misadventures of my cats might be interesting or maybe the birds who live in my back yard and the ones who visit would catch your attention.  I have quite a few nice normal backyard birds. I have a pair of cardinales  but have not seen any juveniles, I have many blue-jays including jeuveniles, morning doves, grackles, titmouse, chickadees, and  one robin that I've seen and a woodpecker and of course  multiple squirrels.  The  birds watch me put out the seeds and ocaisionnally some left-overs.  They don't seem afraid of me and some of the birds come right to my porch area to grab peanuts.  It surprised me that the little ones can eat the peanuts but they manage.  I love to watch them, but recently there has been a little problem with a flock of black birds that is very large.  I would estimate about a hundred maybe a little more and a few large crows.  They fly in all at once and totally empty the bird feeder and scarf anything left on the ground.  I'm ashamed to admit that I chase them by making loud banging noises which must annoy my neighbors.  It works for a little while then they are back decimating my food supply.  So again I make noise - knock on the window, bang the door or go outside and bang a wooden stick on a metal tool chest.  They leave but return too quickly.  I may have to stop feeding them altogether until they find some other place to visit.  I would not chase them if there were only a few, but the large population destroys everything in it's path. My cats do seem to enjoy the entertainment factor, and I take one of them outside (undersupervision) to watch the birds and squirrels.The squirrels, by the way,  love the peanuts and even knock at my door in the morning to remind me that they are hungry.  They also like the sunflower seeds and munch on them all day.  The best part of all of it is that a few of the squirrels will take the peanut from  my hands and then of course run like heck. They also come when I make that kissing noise.  They know me now and don't seem too afraid, but they won't let me get too close, and don't like sudden movements.  I do spend considerable money on these little creatures, and in the summer I also have a groundhog, and some possums, once a raccoon and  so I leave stuff for them once in a while. The chipmunks will also eat the seeds and peanuts with the squirrels in the summer, but they hybernate in the winter..  I don't get to see the possum or raccoones eat what I leave, but if it's gone in the morning I assume they have eaten it. Years ago when my daughter was around 10 we did feed some raccoons who would actually come on the porch and take the food from our hands gently.  I learned later that that could be dangerous and is also against the law.  We stopped then. Back then there was no rabies in CT, but sadly now there is quite a bit and raccoons, possums and a few others I don't remember right now are carriers.   So I hope you've enjoyed this animal centered issue.

Men vs Therapy

I was just watching a police story on tv tonight. One of the younger officers was supposed to go see a therapist after an incident and was dragging his feet. I don't know what is wrong with men who think that going to a therapist to talk about a problem is worse than going to jail. I don't understand, because I would love to go to a therapist and have my employer pay for it and talk about my troubles (which have been extensive for the last 5-7 years of my life. Men think of talking the way I think of being shot. What's with that macho thing? I mean you get paid time off work (in this program), you have someone who is paid to listen to you giving you advice about your life and job, and either your insurance or employer pays for it. What's not to like??? My only complaint is that I think the therapist should have some cats in the office or possibly dogs to help keep the client calm and relaxed. Animals have a good influence on most people in therapy. They are usually working through some serious or prolonged problems and the extra support the animals could provide would most likely be very welcome and beneficial. It might even make it easier for men to go to therapy initially because they might hear of the positive experience of the people who received therapy in a setting with animals. Even an aquarium with colorful fish can be soothing and calming during difficult sessions. But back to my original topic - why are men so afraid of therapy, afraid to admit they need it, afraid to admit that they are involved in therapy, and more that I don't know about. It's funny - big, strong, tough, independent, smart men are afraid of therapy-- talk therapy. I really don't understand, though I do have a few guesses.