Visiting FL

Well, I'm visiting my daughter again in FL.  Trying to help her out with a few things and visiting
with the kids who haven't had much time for me, but they're busy in school and I'm OK with that
as long as I get a few hugs and kisses once in a while.  I take the dog for walks and he seems to like
me if his display of excitement and craziness is an indication of his feelings for me.  I do like him.
I have cats and love them (all 4).  They are so cute, and such company, but they won't go for walks
with me - on or off leash.  Each seems to have a mind of his own (and my one female) and they
don't have any sense of obligation.  They think I'm staff brought in to attend to their needs and
wants (excepting baths - none of that please).

The weather here is quite nice: warm, sunny, light breezes, some rain which cools things nicely.
But it is more of a working vacation we have stuff to do for the lawn (HOA somewhat demanding
about the lawns, paint colors, driveway debris and so much more).  I would like to sell this house
and never see FL again, but my daughter is here and therein lies my dilemma.  So until I get too
old to travel I'll need it if I'm going to see her from time to time.

In this mobile world in which we live  many families share this dilemma with me, and I would
love to know how they work things out.  My daughter left CT for college in FL and never wanted
to return to CT except for short visits.  But when I see some friends or aquaintances whose
children are needy and costing them much money even after finishing school, or driving them
crazy with demands for child-care of their grandchildren, or in trouble with the law, or in poor
financial situations I realize that whatever I might complain about could be 10 times worse.  So
with that in mind I hold my thoughts and complaints and write about them in my journal and
somestimes here.
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Florida Trip

Well here I am again and wanting to share my worries with readers (all 3 of you).  I'll be heading
to FL (from CT) to visit my daughter (shortly after Halloween).  We'll be down there for maybe
2 weeks.  Though I'm looking forward to seeing my daughter and grandchildren, I am not looking
forward to the drive.  I have to arrange for a cat sitter, clean my house, pack clothes some for the
road and some for when I'm down there.  I guess once we get past NJ we'll be safe from snow, but
then we face it again on the ride home.  I love my daughter and grandchildren and at first loved
the trip to FL.  Once we traveled through the mountains and it was breathtaking, but I guess as I
 age it gets a little harder to plan, to leave my kitties, to drive to and from and to know what I need
to bring. I've tried bringing "everything", but that didn't work.  I suppose I should start my list.
Let's see  clothes, (socks, undies, shoes, nightgown, robe and more),  Reading material is also
important, and I just got new glasses so I can see better now.  But the trip takes a toll on me
(probably on my significant person too, but he doesn't complain).  I know as I get older these
trips will be even less often than they are now.  After all how long is it safe for a person to make
this kind of trip as she or he ages?   Then there's the problem of driving in FL.  I don't want to
speak unkindly about FL traffic, roads and drivers, but the male drivers are a bit agressive and
hostile especially if one is driving with out of state plates.  The roads are 2-4 lanes in each
direction, moving fast which is fine I guess if you know your way around, but if one is used to
the 2 lane roads in the hills of  CT, those roads can seem a bit scary.  God help you if you
take a wrong turn!  It could take you days to find your way out of the maze unless a friend
or relative sends out a rescue team or you get killed in an accident. I'm sure anyone who reads
this will think I'm exaggerating unless he or she has been to certain areas of FL.  If you live there
and are fairly well adjusted to their traffic flow you might think I'm exaggerating, but talk to
people who only have visited a few times and happen to come from a small town somewhere
 else (like New England) and you might understand a little more.

Years ago I lived in FL when I was newly married and not yet had any children, and for a time
we were too poor to afford a vehicle, and when we did get one it was old and unreliable, but
it did help me go grocery shopping, and a few other errands.  Even then I found the big 4-6
lane highways intimidating and pretty much confined my travels to the Air Force base
(Patrick Air Force Base on the east coast).  Fortunately they had most of what we needed
to live there ie food, clothing, small movie theater, some recreational activities and the Atlantic
Ocean was walking  distance from our tiny apartment.  It was a beautiful place to live, but so
hot.  I think I knew then that FL would not become our permanent home if I had a choice.  My
daughter does seem to love it and her children who were born there think it's great.  My
granddaughter, though was crazy about snow when she was here in CT.  It was cute to see her
so excited about something that most New Englanders moan about (except those in the ski
business). It is fun to take a look back at my life so many years ago and contrast it to what it
is like now.  So many changes: computers, cell phones, amazing cars, affordable flight travel,
cheap long distance calling, space travel, color TV  (giving my age way now).  Some pretty
amazing medical advances have also occured during the last 50 or so years.  We should all do
this exercise once in a while.  It makes one grateful for all we now have.  One thing that also
changes is warfare.  It seems peace is still illusive as there is still fighting in so many places,
much hate, racism and crimes of all sort, but the weapons are different and the reasons for
the fighting are less clear at least to me.  So much just seems like hate, opression, and crime,
then  anything else.  It also seems that many people aren't content to have freedom of religion
unless it's their religion.  There are some religions that want to push for conversion, some that
want to use force to bring people into the religion, some religions that want to hurt or destroy
members of other religions.  I cannot understand this, though I do understand being fearful of
some of the more radical religions, but let us remember that Christians were radical at one
time making life horrible for other religions to have a peaceful coexistance, and the Jewish
religion is blamed for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ because he taught a new way to think.
I really believe in live and let live, but that doesn't mean (to me at least) that one should force
his or her beliefs or religion on other groups, but laws of the land should prevail.  No killing
your female off spring because she dated a young man of a different religion or nationality.
That should not be tolerated and the perpetrator should be punished to the fullest extent of
the law.  In this country we have rights for everyone.  If someone wishes to live here he
should follow the laws of this country.  If he doesn't like them then he should leave and go
back to his homeland and see if that's better.  It might be better for the men, but not usually
for the women of these nations.  It's amazing to me that such a mass exodus of people
from the middle eastern nations is taking place in the name of  freedom and a better life,
but will the life be any better if they bring their brutal heritage and tradition with them? They
must change their traditions or they will hate it here and possibly be hated by the people
who don't believe in their ways.  Their women need more respect and protection and their
daughters should not be sold or married off for a price.  Women's rights need to be addressed
now.

Reading Accessories

I've been on a reading binge.  Going through books fairly rapidly, but they were all rather long, mostly Kindle books.  I love my Kindle, though I hear a lot of people say they love the books,
the feel of the paper etc.  But in my opinion books aren't made right.  I find that with most of them
holding them is awkward.  Hard covers are often heavy and don't stay open, and paperbacks won't
stay open and it's too easy to lose the place.  If the central margins were wider it would work
better, but then  it would take more pages to print the whole book.  So that is one delemma, using
the Kindle eliminates that problem, plus one carry a whole library around in a purse or a large
pocket.  And as I read each book on my Kindle I just click on "remove from device" and it cleared
and stored in my Kindle account at Amazon.  They have several different styles.  I know that there
are a few other reading devices on the markets - my grandchildren all have Kobos and they love them.  There was a third type, but I think it's been discontinued.  I also like the Kindle Cloud reader at Amazon.  I am able to use it on my laptop.  Once set up and opened it too becomes a hands-free reader, but a little more awkward than the Kindle, but better in some other ways. I can enlarge the type and read any Kindle book on it.  BTW  I'm not getting paid by Amazon for this info I'm sharing.  One last thing is that all the Kindles and the app for the computer are all synced so you can start with the computer and continue with the Kindle device and the divice will know where you left off on the last device. The computer Cloud Reader however offers something that I don't think I can do with the regular Kindle (though I'm not sure).  If I find a special passage or reference that I want to save or share with someone all I have to do is highlight and do a copy and paste to an email and then send it or store it in a file I have for interesting quotes.  I think that is a great tool for students who often
want to use some quotes in the papers they write.

Computers and Passowrds

Am I the only person who has trouble with passwords?   Before I retired I had to remember about 8 different passwords.  Each department or service had it's own requirement so using the same password was impossible.  Then they made us change them every 3 months.  I'm a registered nurse and now retired, but the last 1-2 years were a nightmare in the password department.  Try to imagine
a medical emergency and a patient needing a medication that is locked in a vault requiring ones
user name and password - one tiny error and one is locked out in an emergency!!!  For the first
20 or so years we only needed a code to get into the pharmacy or med room.  Then computers
(which I enjoy) came into play. We had passwords for our personnel files and we were required to change them every 2 months (not repeating any as they change).  We had codes or passwords for
the pharmacy, the utility room, the instrument packs room, even the bathroom.   There were a few
more, but I think you get the idea.  It seemed I was always getting locked out of one or 2 of
the areas.  It never bothered management because they didn't go into all those rooms. They stayed
in their offices and had only one or 2 passwords to think about.  I was not sorry to leave that all
behind me when I retired.

Now that I'm at home a lot I use my computer and email and check my accounts online.  But
again I have multiple passwords to remember.  I do have a password program to store them and
when I'm on my home computer I can check them, but should I have to change one I need to
remember to change it in the storage program and quickly before I forget it or get it mixed up.
The trouble begins when I have to access an account away from home or on another computer.
And sometimes they make me change it just as the hospital did - for security reasons.  Three
days later I forget that I changed it and attempt to sign into my bank to pay bills and I use the
wrong password  then after 2 attempts I'm locked out.  Then there is a whole separate procedure
for regaining entrance to the site.  Somedays I just put a check in an envelope and mail it.  Seems to
take less time for that, unless the payment might be late then I have to go through the process in
order to get it sent  electronically.

I do believe that computers are wonderful and provide speedy service for the most part, but at
they can drive me to distraction and hair pulling.  They often won't accept the correct password
if it's been a while since I accessed that site so then I have to jump through hoops again.  I think
I'm getting too old for this stuff and being ADD doesn't help my concentration or memory either.

For all who happen to read this blog - I wish you easy passwords and accomadating computers.

A New Car!!!

Long time no write!!  Here I am about to  write about my latest investment.  I bought a new car - new only to me.  It is a 3 year old Honda CRV, silver colored.  It is quite nice with several amenities that
make it feel a bit like a luxury auto.  It drives nice and has a few onboard  tech items that are quite
useful.  For one thing it has a rear camera to guide me as I back up.  It takes a bit to become adept
 at useing that feature, but I'm getting there.  It also has an automatic feature for turning the lights
off after you turn the car off.  I like that but I tend to forget that it does that.  The only feature I'm
not so fond of is the rear window.  It is kind of small and limits one's view of the road behind the car.
The seats are fairly adjustable so as a rather short person I can fit in it, but still need a pillow to improve the view (accuracy that is).  I'm not thrilled about car payments, but there is no other way
to buy a new car.  I do usually pay any auto loan  more quickly by increasing the amountI send each month .  I use a complicated formula ie send a few extra dollars each month. Because the extra amount goes directly on the principal rather then devided up for both principal and interest as the monthly payments are.  I think that in the end one will save some money that would otherwise go to interest, and for me the good part is that if one month I have some extra expenses I need only pay the minimum without any penalty and then catch up later when things are ok. I may be wrong about how this works, but  I know is that it works for me.    Also my loan is from a credit union which usually
have better rates than banks.  I will admit that I didn't do as much research as I should have, but
this is my 3rd auto from Honda Motors and they have all been very reliable cars.  (You should
know that I'm not be compensated for my kind words about the Honda products).

On a different topic, I have just heard that meteorologists are predicting a difficult winter in the
northeast.  Apparently we're in for freezing weather and lots of snow (don't we always get that?).

Coping with the Aging Process

I am enjoying my weight loss, but I was up about 2lb on today's

weigh-in so I did my run, then went to Mystic and shopped (spent 

too much money on odds and ends that I needed.  I'll have to be a 

bit more careful next time.  I did go for a long walk, bought coffee

(iced and still sipping it), sat by the river and did some reading. It

is such a pleasure to read by the river on a mild day.  It was a little

hot, sun shining, light breeze, and just a few people on the other 

benches.  I would have liked a little shade, but there was none.

Still it was nice and restorative  then I headed to the grocery store

before heading home.  I've been cooking squash, cleaning, putting 

groceries away, reading and watching some TV news and other stuff.

I've also been feeding my squirrels, chipmunks, gopher, and of 

course the birds.  My cats do love watching the critters, but one cat,

Chloe, hogs the window with the best view.  She's my only female 

and a bit anxious so they (the other cats) tread carefully where she 

is concerned. They let her have her favorite place - no questions asked.

My friend is here, sleeping as usual.  He claims he sleeps fine at night,

but every time he is here he falls asleep in the chair and snores

loudly. I don't mind really, but sometimes I need to do some things

such as vacuuming and I don't want to wake him.  He'll soon be

working again so I try to ignore it for now.

It will soon be July and we will be half way through the year.  It does

seem that time passes more quickly as one ages.  I'm now 68 and 

thinking about what will change as I continue this process of aging.
 Maybe I don't want to know, or maybe I'd like just the good news
(but is there any).  I know that I still care about what people think of me,
 but not as much as I once did.  I don't want to be a weird old lady, or
a mean one, but this is unchartered territory for me as it is for everyone. I

did watch my parents and some friends and neighbors age. It's not
encouraging, but there are no alternatives.  I think the only

steps one can take are keeping physically active (forcing oneself

if necessary), challenging oneself intellectually IE reading, 

studying, trying new things (sewing, volunteering etc)  As yet I

have not volunteered, but I enjoy reading and writing as this

blog illustrates, and I belong to a writing group that meets once

a week on Fridays.  Some times we have lunch together afterward

at a local restaurant.  The writing group is a good exercise for my
writing interests because I don't get to choose the topic only the way I
want to address the topic that is  presented by the moderator.
I also have an online journal which I highly recommend.  It's easy,
has unlimited space,  has a free  version and an unlimited version
for a small annual fee.  If you are reading this and would like to try  an
online journal do a search there are so many to choose from you may find
it difficult to decide. The one I use is called  "Penzu".  You can have several
different journals if you choose and leave your journal to read after you
are gone from the earth which I think takes a lot of thought about who
will have the password for it.  But I can say that I wish I had something
from my mother - a letter or even a paragraph -- anything her own words
would mean so much to me.

Life in Florida

Back to FL

I am in FL visiting my daughter.  I never did move here permanently, but come to visit at least twice a year.  FL is not for me - at least not on permanent basis.  It's too hot in the summer, the traffic is
awful, the drivers are out to get other drivers (at least it seems that way) and I get lost too easily.
So I have decided to stay in CT and come to FL maybe once a year to visit my daughter for a few weeks.  I now get pet sitters which can be costly for an extended stay, but my alternatives are
limited.  If I got a house sitter who could just move in for a few weeks it would be great, but I'm
hesitent to have a stranger in my house.  I also don't know how to find someone who would be
willing to do this.  I'm a little worried about Craigs List and other services like that. So I'll have
to see what works out for me.  My kitties are safely at home with sitters who stop in daily and feed,
water, and clean the litterboxes and even give them some attention.  I miss them so much. I can't
wait to be home and have them sleeping on my bed.  Oops I need a new bed now.  Have to take
care of that as soon as I get home.

For the most part FL is a beautiful state, but it is hot in the summer - very, very hot, and my
cats are home and I'm missing them though I do have granny rites with my daughter's cat. She
is a sweet, gentle, affectionate kitty and I just love her, but my daughter won't give her up (to me of course) so I'll have to settle for visits with the cat when I visit my daughter.  Of course my grand-
children are there as well, but since they are now teens I find them less interested in talking to or visiting with me.  I'm not offended.  I understand that they have there own activities and lives
and I am only a part time person in their lives. I come and I go sometimes I write to them, but
seldom get a letter back.  That's ok too because they're teens.  They have school, friends, activities,
etc (the pool, and little jobs such as dog walking, baby sitting, etc as they are now teens).

This has been a working visit for me and I am tired.  Can't wait to be home.  In the mean time
everyone drive carefully.

Helping Children Cope With Divorce

So today divorce is on my mind.  I was not a child of divorce, but I often think I'd have been better

off if my parents had divorced.  The down side would have been poverty.  My father didn't make

enough money to support 2 families, and my mother didn't make enough money working as a nurse's

aid to fill the financial gaps.   So why am I talking divorce?  Because it has once again visited my

family, and I'm sad about it, but not very surprised.  Life is funny like that. 

 It is true that the kids do suffer from divorce - maybe more than the parents because parents either don't answer their questions or try to keep it all a secret until the last minute, or they speak negatively about their soon to be ex in an effort to absolve themselves of responsibility, at least in the eyes of the children.  All that part leading up to the actual separation ie different houses, cars, responsibilities, money settlements, visitation, school,  house rules etc (have I left anything out?) has to be worked out, but often the children are not prepared for how this works. They become very anxious because the parents don't tell them. They think they are protecting the children  from unhappiness and anxiety.  That is probably not true. We don't have to tell the kids everything, but enough so they feel like  things are taken care of.  They know they'll see both parents, probably live with one and visit the other,  they can call either parent when they need to, and visit either according to schedule or whim, but must communicate any plans to the parent who might not know the plan.  Stuff like that.  When the kids have some guidelines they feel safe ie all is being addressed so they can relax.   How do I know this?  Because I did it all wrong.  My daughter seems ok now, but I handled things badly mostly because I was young and uninformed and didn't have a lawyer, or a therapist to consult (no money for either).  I thought I was protecting her when I withheld information and to some extent that is true, but again we need to pay attention to the kids questions and if they can't be answered

honestly then explain that some things have yet to be decided ie "we're still working on that" and

maybe ask them what they think about something such as visits with the other parent, attending 

school, friends in school and more.   I think the most important thing is to talk to them, explain that things aren't written in stone and there may be many changes over the first few years until a pattern is

established.  But even that will change as needed when the kids change schools due to moving or to

moving up a grade (ie from elementary school to junior high etc) or a move to a different school district and therefore a new school.  Talk to the teachers so they understand what is happening to

the children and therefore may be more understanding of any late arrivals, absenteeism, and

forgetfulness due to worry and stress.  The teachers  might be more tolerant if they do understand

the issues the child is facing.  

When I grew up divorce was considered horrible, the Catholic church considered it sinful (maybe still due, but I'm not part of that anymore) and didn't talk about it even in a general sense in the Catholic school systems.  Maybe they do now, but not then.  So if you read this and it is at all relavant to your situatiion  and  it is also helpful then leave a comment for me.  If you have better ideas than the ones expressed here let me see them and I'll add them to the blog.

I think the most important part, though is to stress that the parents have respect for each other, and

let the kids know they are loved and will always have 2 parents who love them though they may live in separate houses.  I wish I'd been more informed about these things.  

Saying Goodbye

Still in FL, but getting ready for my escape.  It's been good visiting my daughter and family, but it is
now time to get going.  FL is vacation land, and vacations must end at some point.  That point is nearing and I'm making plans and packing etc.  I do have some sadness about leaving.  I wish my daughter lived closer to me, but she hates the cold and though I'm not fond of the winter in New England, I am also not appreciative of the summers in FL.  So midway through June is way too hot for me.  So I guess it will stay this way until I die or find I can't cope by myself, but that will be
a long time from now I hope.

The aging process is deceiving and difficult to predict when it will humble one.  Most Americans
grow up wanting to be independent, self-sufficient and resist admitting to needing help.  I'm no
different it seems, and that is the part of aging I dread.  I have been a saver all my life so I'm hoping I'll have enough money to pay people to do the things that I can't.  For now I'm fine, but the future
looms depressingly close.  Though my qualifications for giving advice are minimal,  I would like
to encourage everyone over 40 to begin planning for the times when one will be needing some assistance  - just for housekeeping and snow removal or rides to certain appointments and being
alone as in the surviving spouse.  Sometimes family is all that is needed and at other times paid
help will need to be considered.  So I hope this entry will encourage everyone to start thinking and planning for ones senior years.

Printer Tantrums

My printer is a pain in the neck.  I have no problem with my computer - it seems to understand
English quite well, but the stupid printer is driving me crazy.  It just seems to forget it's purpose.
After I stop and restart, push buttons, cancel projects and restart them 20 times I am in a terrible
mood, ready to bark or bite at anything that crosses my path.The worst one is in FL so I only use
it when I'm visiting there (my daughter, some friends etc).  Apparently it doesn't like the times
when I leave it alone so it chews, spits or refuses to print when I'm there.  It is a stubborn.  When it does finally decide to work I can never figure out what did the trick.  I love computers, but printers are a whole different entity.  They have a union and they have blackballed me in FL. The one in CT does not know this and therefore works most of the time without a problem.  Except once when I
stayed in FL for 6 months.  When I got home the printer didn't recognize me or the computer
that was telling it to print.  I did finally get it work, by starting from scratch and reinstalling it.
If they would just talk to me and tell me their problems ie they're lonely, they missed me, the cat
scratched them, or the ink is low I would understand and take steps to remedy the situation, but
all I get is stone cold silence.  It's sad to be treated that way.  I threaten to take them to the dump
if they don't shape up, but the response is stone cold silence.  One of these days they will be
sorry that they didn't meet me half way at least.

Come to think of it my cats are a little aloof when I get home after a few weeks away from them,
 but usually only until bedtime when they join me in  bed, on my pillows and feet.  They have to
get very close to my face or hands and lie right on me until I turn over and they slide  a bit.
They get up sometimes, but return later, usually.

Traveling with Cats

Right now I''m in FL visiting my daughter and her family.  For the most part it's good, but we do things differently and look at life differently.  Sometimes even our use of language is a bit different.  So we have some communication glitches.  This  time it will be only a short visit 3 weeks or a bit more if needed.  My grandchildren have finished the school year and are helping with some things around the house for their mom (as am I at times).   They are moving to another house and we're helping.It is an overwhelming task, but I'm pretty sure we'll get it done soon (before we head back to CT). My cats are home with paid attendants who stop in daily to feed  them and clean the litter boxes etc.  It isn't bad for a short stay, but expensive for a long visit (such as 3 weeks), but I love my kitties and bringing them with me would be rather stressful for them for such a short visit.  Most cats hate traveling in the car (although I have seen stories about cats who like it, even liking bus travel, but mine don't like any part of it and won't eat while traveling.  They seemed OK in the motel overnight though.,

The last time I visited my daughter was for 6 months so I brought the cats.  I flew them to FL, a
very expensive undertaking, but we took them in the car for the trip home.  We had 2 scares, both
were false alarms. I thought one was missing when we stopped at a roadside rest stop in GA. I was
terrified and despondent.  I couldn't leave without her. In addition it was a weekend so there would be no humane society workers available to try to trap her (using a "have-a-aheart' trap).  She is a timid little girl and would not have let anyone rescue her, but as it turned out she was in the cat carrier but with another cat and I couldn't see her behind him (both are white cats).  When I saw her finally I cried tears of joy. She was safe!!  The second scare was a cat hiding behind the dresser in the motel room.  We thought he had somehow escaped the room in the early morning.  We asked the housekeeping staff if they had seen a black cat and they came in the room and showed us one the
places where cats had been found, behind a heavy dresser, and there he was.  I think he might have
gotten stuck after he squeezed in was not able to get out.  That too brought tears to my eyes.  He seemed limp and drowsy as we tried to  gently pull him out which helped us not hurt him.  He
then purred loudly until we put him in the cat carrier.  The cats didn't eat or use the litter boxes
while in the car (we gave them the opportunity, but they declined - politely of course), but did
both in the hotels.  I was so happy and relieved when we got home with the cats - all 4 of them.
They remembered the house and location of the litter boxes and food dishes.  I thought that was good after a 6 months absence. But I don't want to travel with them any further than the vets office after
that trip.  Right now I do miss them very much and will be heading home soon.  Of course I will
miss my daughter, but  CT is my home.

Losing Things

I keep misplacing things.  I can remember having something in my hand (recently it's my pocket calendar) using it and then I can't find it.  It happened again this evening.  I don't understand why
or how this happens.  I'm alone in my house except for my cats, but they only lose things that roll such as toys, balls etc.  Tonight I lost my pocket calendar.  I had just updated it with recent and pending appointments then  I got up to do something and when I got back it was gone.  I have
looked everywhere even in the trash, but couldn't find it.  I finally used another one that had hanging
around.  But I don't know what happened to the other one and it drives me crazy.  Larry will say
"What did you do with it?"  To which I always reply "if I knew that I would not be looking for it).
Sometimes men just aren't tuned in - most of the time.  I have also bee very forgetful lately.  One
more reason that I need a calendar for reminders. I missed an appointment for my cat last week.
I just forgot and didn't check my calendar (got busy cleaning and tossing then they called). As
usual I haven't been sleeping well and having a good deal of pain in my left arm and nothing
helps.

Life in FL

Well I'm in FL, living about a half mile from my daughter.  I use that distance as a running route when I go  to visit or check on the kids or the dog needs a walk.  With the return trip it makes a mile.  Not too bad, and I think the exercise is good for me.   I still have sleep problems, but I've lost weight and actually fit  in my daughter's clothes.  I went down 4 sizes, but recently gained back 2 pounds.  I'm working on losing them.  I have to stop nibbling and eating junk food (working on that too).

I have my kitties with me - all 4 - and that helps with the homesickness.  I miss my home in New
England (though not the snow or the freezing weather). In this area of FL the roads are 6 lanes wide
and the traffic is fast and I get lost easy so I'm having some difficulty getting out shopping or going
to the library etc.  In New England one can stop on the side of the road for a few minutes to check
a map or recheck the directions or signs, but that 's almost impossible here. The drivers are not
courteous; they are out to get you and use the horns liberally.

Recently I went to a movie with my daughter and grandchildren.  We saw the latest "Annie" and
it was great.  The music is wonderful and the story though sad at times was mostly upbeat.  I found
it especially interesting because I remember reading the funnies or comic strips when I was a kid
and "Annie" called "Little Orphan Annie" at that time was one that I read everyday, especially
the Sunday issue which was in color.  I remember finding it sad at times and scary, but certainly
OK for kids to read.  Then came the movies,a broadway play and now a new Annie.  It was
great and good for the kids to see as well.  I seldom get to a movie so it was a real treat for me.

I like being near my daughter, but I don't really like life in FL.  In April I will return to New England to become officially a "snow bird" who summers in the north and then heads back to FL for the winter. There is no argument about the milder winters.  They are certainly better here than in NE.
But there are other factors to consider when making life altering changes after retirement. Finding suitable housing, new doctors, transporting pets and new veterinarians, dentists, finding a bank that works in both areas (currently I use 2 banks to avoid ATM charges etc.).

My kitties are OK now, but I don't think they enjoyed the trip that brought them here;  nor will they enjoy the  return trip when I head home in April.

My daughter doesn't understand why I miss my home in New England. Because she is here and
my grandchildren are here I should be happy, but they have their own lives and don't replace
the friends and my sister who I miss so much every day.  This is her life now and she has made friends and has new relatives (in-laws who are good to her) and her children are here, but maybe someday if her daughter moves away from her and she has to make a choice to either stay or
move, to be near her daughter or not she will might understand the choices I have been forced
to make ie here or there, with her or without her, give up my friends to move here or stay in New England.  It is a hard choice and I am not happy here and don't think I will ever be happy here.
But I'm tolerating it, and adjusting - maybe "happy" is over-rated.  As I look forward toward
the problems of aging: hearing and vision loss, forgetfulness, aches and pains and possibly
some serious disease ie cancers, autoimmune diseases etc.  I know only one thing.  I don't want
a long life.  I'll be happy to die at 85 (for example) before I lose too much of what makes me
who I am.  My mom died at 91 and her last 3 years were horrible, but even before that she had
many difficulties that required me to be pretty much a full time caregiver, chauffeur work full
time at my job, and sometimes work in a visit to my daughter at that time.  Life was very difficult
for me and stressful as well. I had frequent headaches, insomnia, a bout of cancer and treatment,
a few surgeries as well.  And of course money was always an issue - never enough as I tried to
save for retirement and cope with inflation, continuing education for my job, balancing my work
my checkbook, my life.  I don't think I did such  a good job.  Depression was the result of the
life stresses I faced.

Goodbye Florida

This blog entry comes to you from my home in FL.  I'm down here for a few months, but not exactly
visiting my daughter.  She's been busy  with things and right now she's in Orlando visiting
Disney World with my granddaughter.  I'm a bit jealous.  I've never really seen much of Disney
World.  I went once when I was driving my daughter to college in Orlando and we went for a few
hours, but didn't really get to see much or go on any rides etc.  But I'm grateful for that much.

FL is an interesting place.  I don't think they welcome anyone, but especially northerners.  They
don't like us and don't hesitate to let that show.  I'm speaking here mostly about drivers that see
our CT license plates and try to run us off the road.  I'm exaggerating that last part.  I will be heading
home in March and hope to change my vacation schedule, but that will be another entry. One thing
that is good is that my kitties are with me and I love having them here, but the downside is having
to take them home by auto.  That will be a chalenge.  Driving 1200 miles with 4 cats, 2 cars, and
luggage is overwhelming to me.  I hope not to have to travel again with the cats as I have plans
to change my routing and schedule. I also am hoping that we will not have any problems on the
road. Long distance travel just to be with family is tricky and difficult when cats are involved.
Dogs seem to travel more easily than cats.  But I love cats and don't want to upset them so next
time I will leave them at home and get a pet sitter and just stay in FL for maybe 4-6 weeks. There is much to think about and plan for, but I think it will work.  I think the cats will be happier in their
own home with a caretaker.  I will have to call and check it out with the sitters. But right now I'm happy to be heading home, happy to have my cats with me and looking forward to rejoining my
writing group.

Sunny Florida

So I'm here in sunny Florida.  I'll be staying until April.  After that I'll be what is called a "snowbird"
as I will be traveling back and forth between FL and New England for the warm season there and
spend the cold season in FL.  I'm not sure why I'm doing this.  Part of it is that my daughter and
grandchildren live in FL and part of it that the terrible cold of New England during the winter
months is much harder as one ages.  And if there are any circulatory conditions as well things are
even more difficult.  But traveling back and forth is also hard as one ages.  In my humble opinion
it's only good  for a few years 5-8 after retirement and by the age of 72 or so one should probably stop and choose one or the  other, but for a few years it's good.  Part of my family lives
here and part lives in the north.  So what do I do.  I sincerely hope I don't live too long. I don't
want to need home care or nursing home care or too much assistance from HHA, or visiting nurses.
Of course what I want will not be the deciding factor, but I am thinking of stockpiling a few
bottles of sleeping pills so that one day I may just take a permanent nap.  That can't be too bad.  I
do have to plan for my kitties though.  I don't think I should get anymore and I should make some arrangements in my will for their care.  No one cares about my animals the way I do and I imagine
that is pretty much the same thing for ones children, but people will sometimes take in children
who aren't related and sometimes they will take in pets, but maybe only one or 2 - I have 4 and
I go nuts every time I see a stray cat or kitten (especially a kitten).  Sometimes they come to my
door for food and sometimes I see them darting under structures in the cold winters or hot summers.
It tears me apart to not help so I end up feeding the ones I can't take in. No animals should live on
the streets and no animals or people should be starving or begging for food - but sadly it happens.