Halloween Memories

With Halloween approaching I thought I'd write about some of my Halloween memories.

For some strange reason I never really liked Halloween when I was little.  I did the usual stuff - but grudgingly and mostly to please my mother and because my younger sister did not want to go alone.  Sometimes my older sister went with us (my younger sister and me). She was in charge and rather bossy.  My younger sister was a clown and silly and loved running up to the doors and yelling "Trick or treat".  That was the part I hated.  But she wouldn't go alone (I don't know if it was fear or shyness that held her back) so I had to go with her to each house.  It was emotionally painful for me.  I felt ridiculous and stupid with a stupid costume.  I never wanted to be seen with either one of my sisters  by my friends who  were frequently unaccompanied by an adult or older sibling.  I never liked the costumes either.  I wanted to be something pretty, with a long dress and soft, long curly hair.  That didn't happen.  My hair was kind of long usually, but straight as a board, fly away and messy. I remember in school, the nuns always complaining that my hair was in my eyes and telling me to fix it.  I never could please them.

As for costumes - they were always awful and I was always embarrassed to be seen in them. They were thrown together at the last minute most of the time, scratchy and not warm enough.  But I think most of the dissatisfaction was because I was a fussy little kid who thought everything had to be exactly right or I wouldn't cooperate.  I feel bad for my mother having to deal with the likes of me.  I complained about everything. 

But the promise of candy and other goodies called me to the streets so  I developed a strategy to help me get some without having to call out the dreaded "trick or treat". I followed the groups of other kids in my neighbor at a respectful distance.  As they would approach a home I would tag along a little bit behind and be at the door just after they yelled "trick or treat" which I thought was stupid and humiliating.  Then the goodies would be passed out to all of us and we'd move on.  My sister always wanted to yell the greeting, but I was not so inclined.

I did like running in the cold evening up and down the street from house to house, and I enjoyed the candy.  Things went on like that for a few years - then I was done.  I refused to go "trick or treating" any more. Instead I passed out the treats to the kids and enjoyed that a lot.  I felt very grown-up and the little toddlers were so cute. I was maybe 10 or 11 and proud to be trusted by my mother to do a good job.

Once as a teenager we had a Halloween party, but it was kind of boring, and I was a bit embarrassed.  I don't think I ever had a party again in my life.  Looking back now I think I was a strange little kid.

Fast forward to the year my daughter was 4 or 5 yrs old and my sister and I took her 2 and my one and I think my older sister's son was also with us. He was about 4 also. We went to our old neighborhood where my mother still lived. My younger sister who was always a lot of fun and could be silly (I was always so serious) was dressed in a hobo costume and had blackened her face a little and borrowed an old hat from my father. She looked cute and she went with the kids as they walked around my mother's  neighborhood.  Strangely,  my daughter refused to call out the trick or treat threat and did the same thing I did, tagging along at the end of a group (except this was a group of her cousins).  She had a great time.

When we had finally worn out the kids. We went back to Grandma's house, and the kids had hot chocolate,  hot cider, biscuits, muffins, hot dogs and some candy.  I don't think any vegetables made it to the menu, but a good time was had by all especially my mother. Though she looked tired as we were leaving she was smiling.

I'm a Happy Grandma

I like to think that my granddaughter and I have a good relationship, but what I think is not as important as what she thinks.  I have 3 grandchildren - one boy, 2 girls they are stepping stones right now 11,12, 13 almost (Nov).  The middle one shares my birthday.  The girls seem closer to me than my grandson.  I know he loves me, but he is in his own little world a good part of the time.  We talk on the phone sometimes and do things together when I'm visiting them (they live in FL, I'm in CT) about 2-4 times a year.  It was more difficult before I lost my job trying to get vacation time, and buying airline tickets, early enough to get a good deal had me in a precarious position because I had to buy them before  the time was posted.  But being unemployed makes arrangements easier, but now I don't have as much money - unemployment comp, isn't much and now it has run out.  Things will improve when I begin to collect my pension in April next year.  I seemed to have deviated from my topic.  My granddaughter - the one who is 11 sent me an email today in response to one I had sent her a few weeks ago.  She only checks her email every few weeks so when I do send one to her I don't expect a quick response.  Instead I'm just surprised and delighted when she does write back.  I like to send email so that whenever she does check hers there will be one of mine there even if it's a little old. So today she responded to one from several weeks ago and she must have still been online when I saw it and responded.  We went back and forth about 4 times.  It was so much fun, and yet it was just light conversation.  She really is very bright.  She enjoys learning, likes to write (her mother (my daughter) and I both like to write so maybe there's a little bit of me in that.

In her email she said we have a special bond - what grandmother doesn't like to hear that?
She is my first grandchild and it's been an exciting 11  years.  I've read her stories on the phone, talked to 1 am on the phone with her, stayed up for hours just reading together (she read her book and I read mine), sometimes we stayed up late talking, and sometimes we sneaked ice cream (not more than twice though).  She's also a good little girl who is well behaved in school and patient and kind to little kids.  This year she is on the safety patrol.  The kids who escort the smaller children to their rides when the parents or car pool show up. To qualify for that job she had to do a couple of things one was write a paper about why she wants to do that and a couple of other things I can't remember right now.  But when she was told she had to write something she was delighted.  When I told her I had joined a writing group she said "sweet!!!" as though it was something special.  We all laughed, but not in a way that would ridicule her.  She laughed with us.  She does like to write.  One of my best classes in highschool was English Comp.  and all through nursing school I got good grades on all my written papers just one had a lower grade, but still a B.
While I'm not afraid of dying, I do hope I live long enough to see what kind of career choices she makes and how her life turns out.  She's a sweet and gentle little girl who likes animals, even bugs, and other little kids and me.  She's is such a joy. 

Helpful Hints

Once in a while I find a little shortcut to make something easier, faster or cheaper or maybe prettier.  So from time to time I thought I'd put some here.  And should anyone actually read this blog and have some handy little hints he or she can leave them through the comments.  But don't worry I'm not trying to be Heloise and her hints.  I only plan on doing this occasionally.  For tonight I'll start with something I'll bet most people already know.  That melted cheese makes almost any leftover taste better.  Havarti cheese melts best and is great in tomato soup.  Wine is also good with leftovers, drink enough and you don't care if they're leftovers.  See no fancy list of ingredients, no complicated instructions, almost no expense.

If you watched the debates on tv you're one up on me.  I just caught the reviews, and it seems that I missed a very entertaining performance by the participants.  I didn't learn much though, except that I won't be voting for any of them.   Personally I don't think that debates are a good way to judge a candidate's potential as a leader.  Televised debates are only one aspect of the candidates ability.  The ability to be quick, think quick, perform under pressure, and remember all kinds of details about lots of important and unimportant things are involved in debates on tv.  I think the man who becomes president has a different sort of responsibility.  He needs to be able to perform under pressure, but most of the time he will be able to take some time to make his decision, listen to his advisers, consider alternatives, and pros and cons of any potential action.  Reacting too quickly under pressure could be a disadvantage in a position of such immense power.  So it seems to me that all the candidates reacted poorly to the pressure and demands of the debate.  And nothing anyone did convinced me that any of them were worthy of my vote.  Having written all that I'd also like to say I won't be too political in the future - just an ocasional comment once in a while.  Of course we haven't seen the D's against whoever becomes the R candidate, but my opinion on the process will probably be the same. 

Pre Technology

Tonight I'd like to write a little about life  before all the changes in technology, transportation, and other conveniences to which  we have all become so accustomed .  I remember stories my mother told me about her childhood.  Things like using the phone in the closest grocery store in an urgent situation were quite common.  Very few people had phones.  On one occasion when her family was moving to another house my grandfather borrowed or rented a horse and wagon to move all their belongings.  Although there were cars on the roads they weren't many, and my mother's family had no access to one. 

All of that reminds me of the first calculators, electric typwriters, word processors and finally computers.  Most of the changes have involved speed: faster cars, airplanes, faster communication, not to mention travel to the moon. 

 When my mother was a child no one had medical insurance.  When treatment was needed people paid what they could afford. There were clinics and some places where one could obtain free treatment for minor illnesses such as colds, viruses, stitches for an injury. I always thought that people weren't afraid of crime in those days, but when I was older my mom told me some scary stories about crime in her neighborhood, and other frightening experiences. My mother's family had little variety in their meals, mostly potatoes and ground beef, or beans and franks no fresh fruit or veggies. 

So things have changed a bit for my family from what my mother experienced, and though things were better for my sisters and me,  we were not able to attend college until after we married.  My parents didn't finish high school, but they both worked very hard and my mom was a saver.  She hid money in her drawers for emergencies putting away a few dollars when ever she could.  Lay-a-way was something else that she used for large purchases. That disappeared  several years ago, but it seems to be resurfacing these days as people try to avoid the high interest rates these days. 

I think that all of us have been very lucky to live in such a time of amazing changes and progress, to watch history be made.  I do think I'm better off for all the progress that has been made especially in this country.  

Sadly, with all of  those advances, we have not learned to keep the peace.  With all the progress in communications, human rights, medicine and more we still have wars, serious crime, needless death, children in foster care, drug use and abuse.

Are things better?  I think so and the changes have brought both good and bad to my life, but am I glad that I have been able to see those changes.

Are we better off than our parents

Is life better now than maybe 80 -90 years ago?  I'm on the fence about this.  The big items of communications, medecine, transportation, education, and new opportunities for work, school, new careers, travel, and communication (I'm sure there are more areas, but I can't think of any more right now) have certainly improved.  But with the improvements also came new problems.  For example the internet and cell phones have made communication almost instant that's good.  Along with them though, has come cyberbullying, internet based scams, and more opportunities for pedophiles to find victims, teens carrying cell phones and using them to spread lies, naked pictures either of themselves or illegally obtained of other teens and spread instantly through the schools.  Children committing suicide is certainly related to the previous items.  So for almost every positive bit of progress comes the downside.  More items related to technological progress are things like pollution, unsafe water, oil spills with inadequate cleanup, drug abuse, poverty, fraud in the financial markets and more seem to also have increased.  I won't even get into the progress made in weapons of war except the great weapons have not brought peace.

Then there are population issues.  Our population has nearly overgrown the planet.  There is a shortage of  affordable housing, decent schools, low cost health insurance, and low cost medical care for those without insurance and so much more than I can list here.  But for the most part most things are better.  It's just that no progress comes without a downside.

Having said all that, I feel blessed to have lived during this time of so many amazing changes and to have experienced many of  them first hand.  Cell phones have given me a strong sense of security and safety. It allows me to connect with my family especially those far away.  The internet has helped me educate myself, allows me to read extensively on almost any subject about which I might be curious, communicate quickly with my extended family, shop and mail gifts easily, find some good deals, buy airline tickets, pay bills and store family, business and personal records and information and do my taxes. 
Computer science has given us some amazing movies i.e. Avatar, and even 3D TV. Computer science combined with movie technology is almost magical. So this is part 1, I guess.  Tomorrow I have some more about life before the tech advances from my memories and from stories my mother told me.  Stay tuned

Chloe, the Saga Continues

The saga of Chloe the scaredy cat continues.  She has been steadily showing improvement since I started her on drugs (cat pheromones).  She has been friendly, following me and letting me pet her.  She is still a bed hog and leaves me about 12 inches of bed to sleep on. In the meantime Giuseppe is at the foot of the bed forcing me to curl up so I don't kick him.  The interesting part is that I sleep in a double bed and there is so much room on the other side, but they won't sleep there.  It probably wouldn't change things because I have discovered that they like to lean up against my back, legs, stomach and occ on my pillow wrapped around  my head.  I had one kitty years ago who used to do that then she had to knead my hair and of course purr. 

For the pheromones I started with the spray and graduated to the electric diffuser.  Her improvements have been remarkable, and I don't think it was just because she got used to things.  This is not a kitty who gets used to anything, and she doesn't give an inch.  What is tabu is simply not allowed and never will be. She holds a lot of power for a small creature.  If I didn't love her and wasn't sensitive to her needs I wouldn't let her have all this power.  What I wish is that she'd give me a little respect, just a little.  But oh no that can't happen, not on her watch.  She has to maintain her control.  It's like the reverse of the Dog Whisperer effect.  She controls me and I give in - most of the time especially where comfort is concerned. 

I've also used kitty pot (better known as catnip to most people) as an adjunct to her pheromone therapy with good results too.  She's been a little nicer to Seamus, and he expresses his appreciation of her kindness by continuing to avoid her.  I can't say I blame him. 

too tired to write

Up late yesterday at a wedding reception. Today I had to get up early.Very Tired now, can't think straight..   Had 2 glasses of wine - that really helps.  Now I don't know what I'm writing or if it makes sense.  I can't seem to retain a thought long enough to write it down.  So now I'm going to bed with the hope that tomorrow I will make more sense and pretty sentences.

Backyard Learning

Of course I'm still feeding the outside animals (well the inside ones too, but I assume that's a given) and learning from them every day.  They are becoming more accustomed to seeing me and braver about being near me.  They actually ignore me a little as though I'm part of the landscape.  Once a little squirrel thumped at  my door, actually threw his little body against it.  I interpreted that as a hunger message and like "Hey!! I'm hungry!! What's up!!!"  So of course I rewarded that behavior with some peanuts and sunflower seeds.  I have also discovered that squirrels will eat seeds when peanuts are unavailable.  The morning doves like the small seeds best, blue jays and crows are fond of peanuts too. Most of the smaller birds and squirrels also like sunflower seeds especially the cardinals. When they flutter and swoop down and grab one my kitties, watching what I call squirrel TV, enjoy that little bit of entertainment.  From the bleachers of the table in front of the window they cheer (by squeaking and chirping too) and hold very still.  I am careful not to disturb them when they are watching the birds play peanut soccer.  They are usually very intense and do not like to be disturbed when viewing a match.  So of course I accommodate this little idiosyncrasy of theirs. It ends, but the winner is never applauded or declared for that matter. That information remains with in their little kitty brains. But they are happy and excited with the outcome so that's all that matters. Of course the free entertainment is a plus for me too.