Saying Goodbye

Still in FL, but getting ready for my escape.  It's been good visiting my daughter and family, but it is
now time to get going.  FL is vacation land, and vacations must end at some point.  That point is nearing and I'm making plans and packing etc.  I do have some sadness about leaving.  I wish my daughter lived closer to me, but she hates the cold and though I'm not fond of the winter in New England, I am also not appreciative of the summers in FL.  So midway through June is way too hot for me.  So I guess it will stay this way until I die or find I can't cope by myself, but that will be
a long time from now I hope.

The aging process is deceiving and difficult to predict when it will humble one.  Most Americans
grow up wanting to be independent, self-sufficient and resist admitting to needing help.  I'm no
different it seems, and that is the part of aging I dread.  I have been a saver all my life so I'm hoping I'll have enough money to pay people to do the things that I can't.  For now I'm fine, but the future
looms depressingly close.  Though my qualifications for giving advice are minimal,  I would like
to encourage everyone over 40 to begin planning for the times when one will be needing some assistance  - just for housekeeping and snow removal or rides to certain appointments and being
alone as in the surviving spouse.  Sometimes family is all that is needed and at other times paid
help will need to be considered.  So I hope this entry will encourage everyone to start thinking and planning for ones senior years.

Printer Tantrums

My printer is a pain in the neck.  I have no problem with my computer - it seems to understand
English quite well, but the stupid printer is driving me crazy.  It just seems to forget it's purpose.
After I stop and restart, push buttons, cancel projects and restart them 20 times I am in a terrible
mood, ready to bark or bite at anything that crosses my path.The worst one is in FL so I only use
it when I'm visiting there (my daughter, some friends etc).  Apparently it doesn't like the times
when I leave it alone so it chews, spits or refuses to print when I'm there.  It is a stubborn.  When it does finally decide to work I can never figure out what did the trick.  I love computers, but printers are a whole different entity.  They have a union and they have blackballed me in FL. The one in CT does not know this and therefore works most of the time without a problem.  Except once when I
stayed in FL for 6 months.  When I got home the printer didn't recognize me or the computer
that was telling it to print.  I did finally get it work, by starting from scratch and reinstalling it.
If they would just talk to me and tell me their problems ie they're lonely, they missed me, the cat
scratched them, or the ink is low I would understand and take steps to remedy the situation, but
all I get is stone cold silence.  It's sad to be treated that way.  I threaten to take them to the dump
if they don't shape up, but the response is stone cold silence.  One of these days they will be
sorry that they didn't meet me half way at least.

Come to think of it my cats are a little aloof when I get home after a few weeks away from them,
 but usually only until bedtime when they join me in  bed, on my pillows and feet.  They have to
get very close to my face or hands and lie right on me until I turn over and they slide  a bit.
They get up sometimes, but return later, usually.

Traveling with Cats

Right now I''m in FL visiting my daughter and her family.  For the most part it's good, but we do things differently and look at life differently.  Sometimes even our use of language is a bit different.  So we have some communication glitches.  This  time it will be only a short visit 3 weeks or a bit more if needed.  My grandchildren have finished the school year and are helping with some things around the house for their mom (as am I at times).   They are moving to another house and we're helping.It is an overwhelming task, but I'm pretty sure we'll get it done soon (before we head back to CT). My cats are home with paid attendants who stop in daily to feed  them and clean the litter boxes etc.  It isn't bad for a short stay, but expensive for a long visit (such as 3 weeks), but I love my kitties and bringing them with me would be rather stressful for them for such a short visit.  Most cats hate traveling in the car (although I have seen stories about cats who like it, even liking bus travel, but mine don't like any part of it and won't eat while traveling.  They seemed OK in the motel overnight though.,

The last time I visited my daughter was for 6 months so I brought the cats.  I flew them to FL, a
very expensive undertaking, but we took them in the car for the trip home.  We had 2 scares, both
were false alarms. I thought one was missing when we stopped at a roadside rest stop in GA. I was
terrified and despondent.  I couldn't leave without her. In addition it was a weekend so there would be no humane society workers available to try to trap her (using a "have-a-aheart' trap).  She is a timid little girl and would not have let anyone rescue her, but as it turned out she was in the cat carrier but with another cat and I couldn't see her behind him (both are white cats).  When I saw her finally I cried tears of joy. She was safe!!  The second scare was a cat hiding behind the dresser in the motel room.  We thought he had somehow escaped the room in the early morning.  We asked the housekeeping staff if they had seen a black cat and they came in the room and showed us one the
places where cats had been found, behind a heavy dresser, and there he was.  I think he might have
gotten stuck after he squeezed in was not able to get out.  That too brought tears to my eyes.  He seemed limp and drowsy as we tried to  gently pull him out which helped us not hurt him.  He
then purred loudly until we put him in the cat carrier.  The cats didn't eat or use the litter boxes
while in the car (we gave them the opportunity, but they declined - politely of course), but did
both in the hotels.  I was so happy and relieved when we got home with the cats - all 4 of them.
They remembered the house and location of the litter boxes and food dishes.  I thought that was good after a 6 months absence. But I don't want to travel with them any further than the vets office after
that trip.  Right now I do miss them very much and will be heading home soon.  Of course I will
miss my daughter, but  CT is my home.

Losing Things

I keep misplacing things.  I can remember having something in my hand (recently it's my pocket calendar) using it and then I can't find it.  It happened again this evening.  I don't understand why
or how this happens.  I'm alone in my house except for my cats, but they only lose things that roll such as toys, balls etc.  Tonight I lost my pocket calendar.  I had just updated it with recent and pending appointments then  I got up to do something and when I got back it was gone.  I have
looked everywhere even in the trash, but couldn't find it.  I finally used another one that had hanging
around.  But I don't know what happened to the other one and it drives me crazy.  Larry will say
"What did you do with it?"  To which I always reply "if I knew that I would not be looking for it).
Sometimes men just aren't tuned in - most of the time.  I have also bee very forgetful lately.  One
more reason that I need a calendar for reminders. I missed an appointment for my cat last week.
I just forgot and didn't check my calendar (got busy cleaning and tossing then they called). As
usual I haven't been sleeping well and having a good deal of pain in my left arm and nothing
helps.

Life in FL

Well I'm in FL, living about a half mile from my daughter.  I use that distance as a running route when I go  to visit or check on the kids or the dog needs a walk.  With the return trip it makes a mile.  Not too bad, and I think the exercise is good for me.   I still have sleep problems, but I've lost weight and actually fit  in my daughter's clothes.  I went down 4 sizes, but recently gained back 2 pounds.  I'm working on losing them.  I have to stop nibbling and eating junk food (working on that too).

I have my kitties with me - all 4 - and that helps with the homesickness.  I miss my home in New
England (though not the snow or the freezing weather). In this area of FL the roads are 6 lanes wide
and the traffic is fast and I get lost easy so I'm having some difficulty getting out shopping or going
to the library etc.  In New England one can stop on the side of the road for a few minutes to check
a map or recheck the directions or signs, but that 's almost impossible here. The drivers are not
courteous; they are out to get you and use the horns liberally.

Recently I went to a movie with my daughter and grandchildren.  We saw the latest "Annie" and
it was great.  The music is wonderful and the story though sad at times was mostly upbeat.  I found
it especially interesting because I remember reading the funnies or comic strips when I was a kid
and "Annie" called "Little Orphan Annie" at that time was one that I read everyday, especially
the Sunday issue which was in color.  I remember finding it sad at times and scary, but certainly
OK for kids to read.  Then came the movies,a broadway play and now a new Annie.  It was
great and good for the kids to see as well.  I seldom get to a movie so it was a real treat for me.

I like being near my daughter, but I don't really like life in FL.  In April I will return to New England to become officially a "snow bird" who summers in the north and then heads back to FL for the winter. There is no argument about the milder winters.  They are certainly better here than in NE.
But there are other factors to consider when making life altering changes after retirement. Finding suitable housing, new doctors, transporting pets and new veterinarians, dentists, finding a bank that works in both areas (currently I use 2 banks to avoid ATM charges etc.).

My kitties are OK now, but I don't think they enjoyed the trip that brought them here;  nor will they enjoy the  return trip when I head home in April.

My daughter doesn't understand why I miss my home in New England. Because she is here and
my grandchildren are here I should be happy, but they have their own lives and don't replace
the friends and my sister who I miss so much every day.  This is her life now and she has made friends and has new relatives (in-laws who are good to her) and her children are here, but maybe someday if her daughter moves away from her and she has to make a choice to either stay or
move, to be near her daughter or not she will might understand the choices I have been forced
to make ie here or there, with her or without her, give up my friends to move here or stay in New England.  It is a hard choice and I am not happy here and don't think I will ever be happy here.
But I'm tolerating it, and adjusting - maybe "happy" is over-rated.  As I look forward toward
the problems of aging: hearing and vision loss, forgetfulness, aches and pains and possibly
some serious disease ie cancers, autoimmune diseases etc.  I know only one thing.  I don't want
a long life.  I'll be happy to die at 85 (for example) before I lose too much of what makes me
who I am.  My mom died at 91 and her last 3 years were horrible, but even before that she had
many difficulties that required me to be pretty much a full time caregiver, chauffeur work full
time at my job, and sometimes work in a visit to my daughter at that time.  Life was very difficult
for me and stressful as well. I had frequent headaches, insomnia, a bout of cancer and treatment,
a few surgeries as well.  And of course money was always an issue - never enough as I tried to
save for retirement and cope with inflation, continuing education for my job, balancing my work
my checkbook, my life.  I don't think I did such  a good job.  Depression was the result of the
life stresses I faced.

Goodbye Florida

This blog entry comes to you from my home in FL.  I'm down here for a few months, but not exactly
visiting my daughter.  She's been busy  with things and right now she's in Orlando visiting
Disney World with my granddaughter.  I'm a bit jealous.  I've never really seen much of Disney
World.  I went once when I was driving my daughter to college in Orlando and we went for a few
hours, but didn't really get to see much or go on any rides etc.  But I'm grateful for that much.

FL is an interesting place.  I don't think they welcome anyone, but especially northerners.  They
don't like us and don't hesitate to let that show.  I'm speaking here mostly about drivers that see
our CT license plates and try to run us off the road.  I'm exaggerating that last part.  I will be heading
home in March and hope to change my vacation schedule, but that will be another entry. One thing
that is good is that my kitties are with me and I love having them here, but the downside is having
to take them home by auto.  That will be a chalenge.  Driving 1200 miles with 4 cats, 2 cars, and
luggage is overwhelming to me.  I hope not to have to travel again with the cats as I have plans
to change my routing and schedule. I also am hoping that we will not have any problems on the
road. Long distance travel just to be with family is tricky and difficult when cats are involved.
Dogs seem to travel more easily than cats.  But I love cats and don't want to upset them so next
time I will leave them at home and get a pet sitter and just stay in FL for maybe 4-6 weeks. There is much to think about and plan for, but I think it will work.  I think the cats will be happier in their
own home with a caretaker.  I will have to call and check it out with the sitters. But right now I'm happy to be heading home, happy to have my cats with me and looking forward to rejoining my
writing group.

Sunny Florida

So I'm here in sunny Florida.  I'll be staying until April.  After that I'll be what is called a "snowbird"
as I will be traveling back and forth between FL and New England for the warm season there and
spend the cold season in FL.  I'm not sure why I'm doing this.  Part of it is that my daughter and
grandchildren live in FL and part of it that the terrible cold of New England during the winter
months is much harder as one ages.  And if there are any circulatory conditions as well things are
even more difficult.  But traveling back and forth is also hard as one ages.  In my humble opinion
it's only good  for a few years 5-8 after retirement and by the age of 72 or so one should probably stop and choose one or the  other, but for a few years it's good.  Part of my family lives
here and part lives in the north.  So what do I do.  I sincerely hope I don't live too long. I don't
want to need home care or nursing home care or too much assistance from HHA, or visiting nurses.
Of course what I want will not be the deciding factor, but I am thinking of stockpiling a few
bottles of sleeping pills so that one day I may just take a permanent nap.  That can't be too bad.  I
do have to plan for my kitties though.  I don't think I should get anymore and I should make some arrangements in my will for their care.  No one cares about my animals the way I do and I imagine
that is pretty much the same thing for ones children, but people will sometimes take in children
who aren't related and sometimes they will take in pets, but maybe only one or 2 - I have 4 and
I go nuts every time I see a stray cat or kitten (especially a kitten).  Sometimes they come to my
door for food and sometimes I see them darting under structures in the cold winters or hot summers.
It tears me apart to not help so I end up feeding the ones I can't take in. No animals should live on
the streets and no animals or people should be starving or begging for food - but sadly it happens.